I stare at the window. The blinds are drawn, light filtering through the cracks throwing the room into a gray color that reflects my mood. I wish I could see what was beyond those blinds. I imagine there is a whole world or free people. When you were still here I'd often picture us outside among those free people. I'd imagine we were doing normal things. Things that everyone does and never appreciates. Like taking a walk in the park. I can't remember the last time I'd been outside. It was way before they had. taken. you. away.
I closed my eyes as the ropes cut into my skin. I could barely feel their sting anymore. Back when you were still here, I would struggle against them. I have no need to do so now... now that you are gone.
I no longer desire this life. I had given up by now. I'm just an empty shell. My mind is gone, destroyed by the fact that my only hope died with you. Yes, in killing you they destroyed my heart and my soul. Though they held us captive, I was only captive to you. You held my heart. Ruled over it. Consumed it. I would have died for you... but they didn't give me that option.
Knowing that I am still alive, and you are... dead... it haunts me. At night dreams fill the emptiness of this room. They fill it with regret, sorrow, hate, anger, ... guilt. It's my fault. It's my fault you aren't alive. I should have died. Not you. And now as my punishment I'm forced to live in this cold world without the warmth of your love. Well... if the ransom isn't paid soon I might get to join you. and even if it isn't... I refuse to endure this world without you. I'm coming. I love you.