She feels so alone in a world full of people..She can't hear all the noises because she has learned how to block it all out. Her life seems to be passing by but she can't see that. The only thing she sees is darkness. All she feels is pain. She has shut herself off from the whole world on the inside. The outside lets them see she is okay. She fakes each smile. Forces each laugh and yet the only thing she wants to do is aly in the dirt and tend to her broken soul. She wants to cry out but she can't because no one can see her cry. If they do then her whole world would come down. The only thing she does is just hold it in and wait until the early morning hours and she crys. She stains her pillow with tears in hope that someone comes. They never do she is stuck in a world that she has created. She has made her own living hell becuase she wouldn't let anymone in. Now she is stuck with a choice. Eaither take the pills, she would go faster. Or stay here and just use the razors. Death scrares her, now she is sutck with the razors. One cut changes her life.It changes how she dresses and how she cancells plans. Everytime she stresses out she cut make a perment mark of what has hurt her so much in this life. The cuts hurt but they remind her that she is nothing to anyone. It remeinds her that this world is cruel and no one is real, everything is fake. She believes all these things becuase she has told herself these things over and over agian. She thinks she is stupid, worthless, and sucks. That girl.....that girl is my sister.
March 4, 2010