I see you everyday, loving her. I drown in the pain willingly. I dont have to look, I dont have to fantisize about you leaving her, still loving me, not asking for any more than my commitment. I cant help staring, inflicting my own personal hell on myself. Its my life. The life of the one wearing a jacket, not cold, but as my cover. I go to sleep at night, remembering when we loved one another. I wish you could see my pain, or at least feel some of it. I drown in it willingly, but think of it as a reminder that im still human. If you could feel the way I do, it would crush you. And I wish that you did know, not because I want you dead. Because I want you to open your eyes to the harsh reality of what happens when you do what you did to me. If you want to throw your life away to impress your friends, then fine. But when you ruin both of your lives, I will be standing in the backround, laughing.
Looking in, addicted
April 5, 2010