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Once upon a time in a village called Ta-Wash. (Appearance 6 methods of character) there was a little boy with big brown eyes. He wore a blue T-shirt and blue jeans and small brown boots every day. He loved making cheese, all kinds of cheese. He started making cheese at two years old. He worked at a local market called Cheese Makers. His name was Sugar. One day Sugar went on a walk around town. Sugar walked all day, until a flyer caught his eye.
( Environment methods of character)Sugar looked around in the western looking town. At night time its a ghost town. There are houses, grocery stores, bakeries, and restaurants all on one street called West Ghost Street. No one was in sight. Sugar quickly grabbed the flyer and ran down the brick road. Then he saw a dirt road. (1Action verb Brush Stroke) The dirt road curled around an abandoned house. Sugar dashed down the dirt road. He rounded the corner hard, and ran into a grizzly bear. Sugar fell flat on his butt, and so did the grizzly bear. (2appositives Brush strokes) The grizzly bear, a dangerous animal who roams forests and lakes in search of food, prefers fish and berries. The grizzly bear got up.
(Words spoken by others)“You’ve got to be careful when you go around corners like that,” said the grizzly bear.
(Other responses)“Sorry, it wont happen again,” said Sugar in a frightened voice.
“Ok, have a good night kid,” said grizzly bear.
(3Absolutes Brush strokes) Hands shaking, heart beating, Sugar ran like a cheetah. Sugar ran back to Cheese Makers. He shoved the key into the key hole, sharply turned it to the left and pushed open the door. (1Repetition for effect Smile face trick) He quickly turned around and slammed the door so hard it nearly came off its hinges, so hard the wall shook, so hard a near by painting fell to the ground. Sugar went to a table and laid out the flyer. (action methods of character) He took a deep breath and washed his cheese making area. Next he went to the back of the store and grabbed some milk, and started to invent his own cheese. Sugar thought of his two favorite colors, Orange and blue he says. Then he thinks of his favorite shape. Circle he says. He pores the milk in his container then all the other ingredients. Then he searched every where for a secret ingredient. (2Metaphor Smile face trick) He tore up the whole place like a tornado.
He couldn’t find anything for his secret ingredient. Sugar walked slowly to a corner in the store, sat down and started to cry. He lifted his head and looked at one of the tables. He stopped crying then jumped up and ran to the table, he picked up the table and ran to his cooking area. He grabbed his spatula and scraped off a piece of winter fresh gum. Then he dropped it into his pot. He stirred all the intergradient together then poured the cheese into 14inch circles. He let it sit for 2hours. Beep, Sugar jumped up and pulled out the cheese from the oven then he tasted the cheese.
(Thoughts)“Yes, I will win the contest,“ thought Sugar.
He writes down a note for his boss. He says where he’s going and why the place is a mess. He wraps the cheese in plastic wrap then puts it into a grocery bag. He begins his journey to Ta-Ta. A city about 30 miles west of Ta-Wash. Half way there he runs into a bull. (4Participles brush stroke) Snorting, stalking, and charging the bull charges its prey. Sugar turns around and sees a big tree. He jumps up to a nearby branch, and pulls him self up. (Adjectives shifted out of order)The angry bull, Red-eyed and dangerous, walks away. Sugar jumps down and runs to the town Ta-Ta. He gets there ten minutes before the president does, but there’re almost a thousand other people around him. Sugar waits where the flyer says too. Then a long black limousine pulls up next to a building. Sugar pulls out his cheese.
“Mr. president,” shouted sugar.
The president looks over and sees the cheese.
“Ah, this cheese better be good,” Said the president.
The president grabbed a butter knife, walks over and slices a piece. He puts it into his mouth slowly, and chews slowly.
“Yes, this is the best cheese I’ve ever had. Would you like a full time job making cheese for me,” said the president.
“I would love to,” said Sugar.
Sugar spent the rest of his life with the president making cheese. All his hard work paid off. He still misses his old kitchen and his town, but he sends 20% of his payment to Ta-Wash. Sugar will go down as the best cheese maker in the world.