The Truth About Letting Go

February 21, 2010
By , fredericktown, MO
She couldn't let of the memories of him even though it's been a year since he died. Eveyone said it would get easier, but it hasn't. The days wold be slinged togather where she wouldn't get out of bed. Her girl friends come over to visit but they would look at her as if they didn't know her anymore. Family would call but she wouldn't answer thier calls they would just say "come home eveyone misses you" or "you need to move on that what he would've wanted for you." How do they know thats what he wanted for her how do they know anything about him when they didn't like him?

The memories would always sneek up on her when she wasn't paying attation. She called out his name at nights always thinking he would come back to her to hold her in his arms. Each time she would cry because she knew he wouldn't answer her. They came over again and she promised they could drag her off to the beach this weekend. they said sun shine, the beach ,and the waves would make her relax but she knew it wouldn't.

She looked out the window she could see the long strech of beach on either side of her. What they didn't know was that this is where she first saw him and where they fell head over heels for eachother. The first time she saw him surf, the first time they spoke to eachother even though it was a simiple hi it ment the world to her, and then all the memories came flooding back into her mind. They parked and everyone got out waiting to see what she would do. The sand was soft against her bare feet. The wind blew through her brown hair, the segals cry it all brought her back when she was a teen going through high school.

She use to come her with her friends and roast marshmellows and hot dogs on a saturday night. That was first good memori of something other than him. Maybe this was going to get easier she thought. The sun shined down on her body. The waves crashed against the rocks. Then the memories took her back to that night when evrything happened.

" What do you mean that you have to go back!" she yelled at him.

" You know that I was on leave and evently that I would have to go back." he said with gentleness in his voice.

" I know, but its not fair.''

" Wars not fair to anyone." he said with tears in his eyes.

" I don't want you to go."

" I know, but I have to. I will come back and we'll start a faimly.'' he said with a grim smile.

" You promise.'' she said knowing that he might not come home to her welcomeing arms ever again.

" I promise." he said.

He kissed her and walked out the door. Shes was dreading that day would come. Then she heard the squeal of tires and the sound of glass shattering. She walked out to his for d pick up truck smashed.

" No!!!!!!!" she screamed this can't be happening.

Shes been blameing her self for his death maybe if she yelled at him some more this wouldn't had happen. Maybe they would have had a faimly. She sat up to see her friends being chased around the beach with water guns in thier hands. Maybe she might be able to let go after all. She smiled to her self and got up and ran after them friends.

Times change and i've changed. She sat around the small fire made from drift wood with her friends smileing and laughing with them it was like old times agian. Sun the sun was setting and they left,but she left all his memories behind her at the beach for someone else.

The truth about letting go is that you truly never let go. She would never let go she thought at least not all the way. She packed his belongings up in old boxes. She paused and looked at every picture of them togather smileing.

She went out the weekends again. She would go to the beach on the weekends sit there and watch the waves crash on th rocks. She couldn't yet get her self dateing again. She went out with friends to movies. She laughed and smiled again.
She went to go see her family she hasn't seen them since his funreal. They said she changed and for once she could agree with them. She drove that familer road to the town she grew up in. They closed down the old dinner where her and her high school friends use to go every saturday night. She smiled to her self remberin how crazy she was when she was a teen.
That night on her way home she saw head lights comeing her way. She heard the glass shattering from her wind sheid. She saw his face then he said its your time to leave everything behind and be with me forever. That when she finally let go and took her last breath. She went with him to the golden gates and left the world below letting it orbit without her there to hold it down.

The truth about letting go is that you never let go at all.





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