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My Dream This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     I say to you today, my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is the Coach Potato dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will sit down and watch as much TV as possible and live up to the claim that all Americans are lazy and overweight.

I have a dream that one day in an armchair in Boston the sons of baseball players can ally themselves with the sons of cowboy-hicks in Texas in order to fight the Covenant hordes via the online video games of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the State of New York, a state full of bustling pedestrians running everywhere, sweating from the heat of the sun, will be transformed into an oasis of air-conditioned moving carpets and tunnels lined with La-Z-Boys, eliminating the pain of walking.

I have a dream that my four friends on MySpace will one day live in a country where they are not judged by how slowly they run a mile, but by the content of their “Warcraft” characters and their ability to quote television commercials.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, over there in California, with its health food and fitness fanaticism, with its governor encouraging weightlifting and a healthy lifestyle, kids of all sizes will be able to clasp hands and appreciate together the wonderful fatty goodness of fast food and regular cola.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every exercise bike will remain a coat rack, the chip bag shall be endless, the couch comfortable again, the excess weight hidden by unnecessarily large T-shirts, and the glory of Late Night and Really Late Night television will shine into every living room way past bedtime, for all Americans to experience together.


This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own!

cdaven said...
Jan. 25, 2009 at 12:28 am:
wow sounds just like one of my friends something he would write. I like what you did with this good job
 
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Ashleymabu said...
Nov. 30, 2008 at 10:26 pm:
Wow...interesting take on Martin Luther King Jrs speech. I will admitt at the rate that the United States is becoming this dream could very well become a reality. But I hope for the sake of people that look good in skinny jeans that it doesn't. But I loved the idea...very funny. BRAVO!!
 
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manicalxmolly said...
Nov. 14, 2008 at 11:08 pm:
I feel like I've been stereotyped. xp I'm a skinny coach potato, but despite this I am willing to admit I like your dream.
 
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