September 30, 2007
Why me? What is it about me that everyone seems to hate? I walk down the halls seeing the same faces everyday. I feel like they are strangers now. I know no one. I hate what I’ve become. I feel like a monster. My friends are strangers.


October 4, 2007
He left me for her.


October 5, 2007
I skipped school today to get high.


October 6, 2007
I wake up every night in a sweat dreaming of the days with you. The summer days, the fall picnics, the snowy walks, and spring swims. All that runs through my mind is you. I’ve been staring at this blank piece of paper for two days not knowing what to say.


November 8, 2007
The guilt has set in. He left because of me. Why else would he have left me? Its all my fault you’re gone. You’ve been gone for a month now.

The blank paper now starts with dear Rob.


November 9, 2007

Today was full of tears. I can’t wait to see the day when the tears all go away. I miss you. I need to believe that things were meant to be this way. I went to school today for the first time in weeks, and I was invisible to you. I wish you knew the pain.


November 10, 2007
I don’t wanna throw away the time we spent together, but I think we’re better alone. You always found a way to bring the worst out of me.
How do I fall out of love?


Somebody tell me.


November 19, 2007
I need you, but I can’t get rid of you. I’ve officially become a drug using, alcoholic wh**e.
I finished your letter.


January 1, 2008
A new year. My loneliness is the worst it’s ever been. This is supposed to be a start to a new life. I should be doing everything I can to get my friends back and my life back, but you’ve ruined me! I have nothing to give. I can’t even carry on a conversation normally. I’ve become a complete monster. I skip school. I use everyday. I’m drunk most of the time. I haven’t done homework in months.

I used to be on the honor roll. I used to love hanging with my girlfriends. I was popular. Look at me now. This is YOUR fault.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.


Get the hell out of my life.
Please.


January 12, 2008
I picked up my guitar today. I wrote a song…about you.

Why are you the only thing that is ever on my mind?


January 14, 2008
Hannah came over today.

For the first time in months we talked. We really talked. I told her everything about you. I told her how you were a lying, cheating, piece of crap. How you ruined my life. How you left me with nothing. You took my sanity, my love, my friends, and me. You took me.


January 30, 2008

I met someone.


Josh.


February 13, 2008
Tomorrow is Valentines Day. I haven’t thought about you in a month. Wanna know why? Because you mean nothing to me anymore. You made me stronger. I spent four months of my life with no reason to live because of you, but you made me better.

I will spend tomorrow with someone who truly cares about me.

Josh. He will be there for me.

This is the last time I will think about you. The last day you will cross my mind as anything more than a stranger. So thank you.

Goodbye.