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January 31, 2010
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To Whom It May Concern at the Western Wireless Corporation:

I have a proposal which I am inclined to submit for your review. Following the huge success of your new line of WestFold Smart Phones, I believe your company to be the best medium to market and sell my product. People will be all over it, and I think it will be mutually profitable for both of us, so here goes:

My colleagues and I have drawn up some new plans for a new brand of intelligent mobile device. It will, naturally, serve as a phone, for what of any use cannot be used to contact others of its kind? You will also be able to access the internet, for any device with as much brains as this one will be rendered useless if it cannot perform every function of a normal personal computer. But, it will be more than both of these. This phone I am proposing will be able to solve so many problems in the world, people will hail it as perhaps the Second Coming if it is distributed on a large enough scale, and I am confident that this will be its reception.

In addition to being a phone with internet access, my new proposal will come in two parts. One part, the standard smart phone, will be able to be separated from a second part of the phone, and this second half of my ingenious device is what will make it revolutionary. It will be able to transmit video from anywhere it is back to the other half of the device, so perhaps, if the first half is in your hand and the other half in the television room with its camera directed at the screen, you will be able to view television through your phone when you aren’t even close to the TV! It acts like a third eye- just place it anywhere you desire and it will give you a high definition picture of wherever it is. But, there is something even more amazing about it.

The second part of the phone will be able to move independently, controlled by the first part remotely. It will have deployable wheels and be able to reach speeds of fifty miles per hour, a helicopter blade which enables it to fly, and legs which enable it to walk, all powered by an eco-friendly solar panel. This is all, of course the genius of my primary business partner, who, of course, owns your WestFold 4G phone and approves of your products. The upshot of this two-part marvel, with one half the remote and the other half a mobile eye, people will be able to perform visual tasks without even leaving their seat! No more climbing out of your be to see if you locked the front door late at night, no more getting up from the couch to check the timer on the stove. This device will do it all for you, but there are so many more potential uses for it, some of which I have enumerated below.

Ever want to go to the movies but were too tired to get out of your bed? Just use your GPS-based remote to tell the eye where to go. There’s even a downloadable application which enables you to buy movie tickets straight from the phone! The eye will sit in the theater, and you will watch the film in high definition from the comfort of your own home. Have you ever wished you could go see a ball game but didn’t have the energy to drive to the stadium and your television didn’t get the right station? Let the mobile eye go to the ballpark and you can sit back and watch your baseball game in stunning HD from your couch! This device has the potential to eliminate so much pointless, unnecessary human movement and keep you firmly on your couch. What’s the good of moving yourself if you don’t have to, right? But, there is one more function on this baby that makes it totally irreplaceable.

The mobile part of the phone, which has a visual function, also has a vocal function, enabling you to speak through the remote connection and talk through your “mobile eye”. If you never have the energy to move but you still want to socialize with your friends at a restaurant, have all of your friends send their Eyes to the same place and talk away! There’s even an app on the phone to order food if you get hungry while you have a good time with your friends. Do you have a hot date and you’re afraid to show your face? Use the same procedure- the Eye is very good for romantic outings for all couples. This device I am proposing has the potential to make getting up to socialize obsolete! There’s even an app for “kissing” your date. How charming!

In a modernized, technological, twenty-first century society, no one should need to move farther than they have to. My colleagues, all veterans in the mobile business field, approve of this idea, and I hope you do as well. With more time to stay at home, you can spend your quality time bettering yourself rather than catering to the calls and wants of others. You will always be able to stay in contact with your friends, and there will no longer be any need to spend time “apart” from each other. Anything you want to say, go ahead and say it! You won’t have to worry about being pushed by your friend if you accidentally hurt his feelings or make a bad joke- you’ll be safely ensconced on your couch. While your eye does the work, you can continue to better yourself against others and come out on top in what has become a competitive, connection-oriented world. It’s perfect for snubbing out that nasty office rival for a promotion, or beating a school enemy to a pretty date. Think of how personal this invention will make life- constant contact, no danger to yourself, and memories to last a lifetime. I beg of you to accept this proposal.

To show my confidence in your work, I send this on my new WestFold 4G SmartPhone hoping that you will reply favorably.

Yours Sincerely,
Wireless Product Developer

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