Strength to Open the Door

By , santa rosa, CA
I lie in bed later on trying to forget what happened. How could I have made her that angry? I don't even know what I did to deserve something like that. I will never be apart of her. i will never be able to please her like I want to.

When the house is silent that night I go to the bathroom and open the drawer. I look around until I find a small razor sitting there, alone. I take it back to my room and sit on my bed. I have to cut so I'm in control. Nobody can steal this from me. Nobody can stop me from doing this to myself. I choose to do this and it's mine, it's all mine.

SMACK!

I open my eyes in shock and mom's standing over me looking down at me. My eyes water from being hit and as I look at her I have to close my eyes and reopen them. "Let's go." I get up quickly and follow her downstairs to the kitchen and she tells me to sit in the chair. I follow orders and sit. She goes to the counter and takes out a bottle of blue liquid. I've seen her using that liquid to clean her floors throughout the house. She takes it to the stove and starts to pour it into the pot. She stirs as she pours, humming. I don't know what she's going to do with it. I don't want to think about it.

She places a bowl of her soup in front of me and I stare at it. I hope she doesn't expect me to eat it. She sits in the chair in front of me and yells for me to start eating. I pick up the spoon, my hand is shaking. I don't want to eat it, but I do because I have no choice. She just watches me, with a smile on her face. I can't believe she's doing this to me. I can't believe she hates me this much.

When I finish I sit and stare at her. She still smiles and shakes her head. She tells me to go to my room and stay there for the remainder of the day. I do as told, like always.





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