15-Minute Wait for the Results MAG

By Emily Broderick, New Market, MD

Skinny bird legs lying next to mine.
The one rubbing my thigh is tapping
up and down and up and down
because you are nervous about something.
Your finger, the one with the big red plastic ring,
is tapping on the peeling dark veneer rhythmically.
Tap-a-tap-a-tap-tap-tap-tap-a-tap
Your other hand is so clammy.
Like a turtleneck on a hot day,
like a wet turtleneck on a humid day.
The salmon-colored plastic sticks to my upper arm
in the small space between us on this love seat,
peeling away from my skin when I shift
with a sticky sound. Ouch.
There’s a rip, all jagged with
school bus-colored foam poking out.
Your nails are digging in,
as short as they are.
You are so afraid.
My nails are digging into your hand as well –
I can see the red-lined moons standing out plain as sight.
What was that old saying?
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight?
Or was it take warning?
Does a moon make the night red?
I ask you out loud, you laugh,
this queer little laugh
that isn’t a laugh at all.
Not really.
And you say it’s the first.
So we should delight and dance together like
we were doing just last week under that
tacky disco ball.
The door opens with a creak that reminds me
of an old haunted house. It’s all meant to scare.
The doctor walks in – shuffles really – lab coat knocking against his knees.
He’s kind-looking and old. Like a grandfather. Or uncle. Or something.
He moves past us.
Sits at his desk.
Pulls on his glasses – his eyes look so big.
Pulls out a manila folder.
Opens it.
Turns the page. Again. Again.
Licks his lips.
Takes glasses off – his eyes are small once more.
His chin rests on his folded hands.
Pensive.
“The test was positive.”
Your grip tightens, my grip tightens.
Many red moons across our hands.



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This article has 205 comments.


on Sep. 8 2011 at 4:58 pm
Laura_Oliver GOLD, Manchester, Connecticut
12 articles 2 photos 122 comments
This is a terrific story, and your use of suspense and vivid words is exceptional considering you used one-sentence lines, like a poem. Thank you for posting this, and I'd like to read more of those styles!

on Aug. 17 2011 at 3:39 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga

Brilliant! I love how you creat suspense with every little thought and movement. Check out some of my work? Thanks : )

Bambi67 SILVER said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 3:08 pm
Bambi67 SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
9 articles 1 photo 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
remember that the future comes one day at a time.
Dean Acheson

great work,love it !!check out my work thank =)

Ally_H. GOLD said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 11:28 am
Ally_H. GOLD, Bridgeport, West Virginia
18 articles 26 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don\'t matter and those who matter don\'t mind.

Nice use of repetition to create tension and suspense. Loved it!

on Jul. 26 2011 at 12:01 pm
billgamesh11 BRONZE, Grafton, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always darkest before the dawn." ~Florence and the Machine

No way!!! I just submitted a story on teenpregnancy yesterday and then i saw this today! What a coincedence!!! Well, anyways, it was really good and probably much better than my story!!! I really liked the whole "red moon" thing because it showed just how nervous and scared they are. Good job!!!:):):);)

on Jul. 26 2011 at 11:59 am
CaityBug SILVER, Mechanic Falls, Maine
8 articles 3 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm cracking skulls!" -Vernon (The Breakfast Club)

I think that's what made it so good!! (:

on Jul. 26 2011 at 11:56 am
billgamesh11 BRONZE, Grafton, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's always darkest before the dawn." ~Florence and the Machine

NO WAY I just posted a story about teen pregnancy yesterday and then I see this today!!! But anyways, I really liked the story and the "red moons" part of it, it really showed how scared they were

on Jul. 26 2011 at 10:35 am
SuperPanda409 SILVER, State College, Pennsylvania
9 articles 1 photo 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
If this is love I don't wanna be loved.- Get Scared

‎We are made of love and all the beauty stemming from it. We are made of love and every fracture caused by the lack of it.- Sleeping At Last

I feel as if it was a pregnancy test.

TAR11 SILVER said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 8:28 am
TAR11 SILVER, Allison Park, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 51 comments
Cool story please check out mine, Sean Flynn, if you get the chance thanks! 

TheDuck GOLD said...
on Jul. 5 2011 at 8:04 pm
TheDuck GOLD, Braselton, Georgia
11 articles 12 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Raids, bullets, crime... no problem. A missing duster? Crisis."-The Last Sacrifice
"If we stand for nothing, we'll fall for anything." -All Time Low

Still don't know....

 


on Jul. 4 2011 at 11:25 am
Me22895 DIAMOND, Azle, Texas
77 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

I am dying to know what the test was positive for as well!!!!!

exotus SILVER said...
on Jul. 4 2011 at 2:19 am
exotus SILVER, Aspen, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die"

i think that was a pregnancy test? i'm not certain...

on Jul. 4 2011 at 12:10 am
abnormal PLATINUM, Jonesboro, Georgia
24 articles 8 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
Truth is eternal. Knowledge is changeable. It is disastrous to confuse them.

-Madeleine L'Engle

Very captivating! Use better grammar though, it was hard to read.

on Jun. 12 2011 at 8:41 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

SAME!!!!!!!

on Jun. 12 2011 at 5:30 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

That was so good I am dying to know what was the test positive for.  Now I wont ever stop thinking about it!!!!! :O

lysandra said...
on Apr. 29 2011 at 8:37 pm
Holy harsh much.Must be guys as you two are acting like jerks!!

on Apr. 29 2011 at 8:15 pm
littletipoftheshoelace GOLD, San Diego, California
15 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Create like a god, work like a slave.

Wow, Firework, I really respect how you're being so polite about this...most people would have let RixxOhSixx really have it, but you're keeping your cool. That's pretty admirable in my book. And, I don't think it truly matters how you spelled "you" or "embarrassment." What matters is that you commented about how good this piece of work was, which I agree with very much. I like the suspense of it, too, and the beauty of which it was written. This person is obviously an amazing writing with a lot of talent, and we shouldn't spam a page of her work with petty disagreements over spellings. Let's just enjoy her work, that's what this is for! =)

on Apr. 29 2011 at 6:05 pm
bookworm29 PLATINUM, Rockville, Maryland
28 articles 2 photos 61 comments
the first thing I thought was, "Was it a sickle-cell disease testing?" because I read "red moons" so ya.... Was it?

on Apr. 29 2011 at 5:51 pm
Firework2013 BRONZE, Wattsburg, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.

Ok people hold up I spelled embarrassed not embarassment. Wow never thought I'd get so many comments on someone else's comment, that I commented on weeks ago. I spelled yo instead of you, and yes i did spell embarrassed wrong, I see now that I'm looking back. I'm sorry that me not being the greastest speller offended so many of you.

Karma BRONZE said...
on Apr. 29 2011 at 5:19 pm
Karma BRONZE, Brielle, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
The swallows will always sing around the smoke stacks

It's seems Firework wasn't the only one to spell embarassment wrong ^U^


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