15-Minute Wait for the Results | Teen Ink

15-Minute Wait for the Results MAG

By Emily Broderick, New Market, MD

Skinny bird legs lying next to mine.
The one rubbing my thigh is tapping
up and down and up and down
because you are nervous about something.
Your finger, the one with the big red plastic ring,
is tapping on the peeling dark veneer rhythmically.
Tap-a-tap-a-tap-tap-tap-tap-a-tap
Your other hand is so clammy.
Like a turtleneck on a hot day,
like a wet turtleneck on a humid day.
The salmon-colored plastic sticks to my upper arm
in the small space between us on this love seat,
peeling away from my skin when I shift
with a sticky sound. Ouch.
There’s a rip, all jagged with
school bus-colored foam poking out.
Your nails are digging in,
as short as they are.
You are so afraid.
My nails are digging into your hand as well –
I can see the red-lined moons standing out plain as sight.
What was that old saying?
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight?
Or was it take warning?
Does a moon make the night red?
I ask you out loud, you laugh,
this queer little laugh
that isn’t a laugh at all.
Not really.
And you say it’s the first.
So we should delight and dance together like
we were doing just last week under that
tacky disco ball.
The door opens with a creak that reminds me
of an old haunted house. It’s all meant to scare.
The doctor walks in – shuffles really – lab coat knocking against his knees.
He’s kind-looking and old. Like a grandfather. Or uncle. Or something.
He moves past us.
Sits at his desk.
Pulls on his glasses – his eyes look so big.
Pulls out a manila folder.
Opens it.
Turns the page. Again. Again.
Licks his lips.
Takes glasses off – his eyes are small once more.
His chin rests on his folded hands.
Pensive.
“The test was positive.”
Your grip tightens, my grip tightens.
Many red moons across our hands.



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This article has 205 comments.


mandygale77 said...
on Dec. 9 2009 at 7:20 pm
I think it's really good! You keep it uncertain until the end, which is a little uncertain as well to lead us to our own conclusion - I'm thinking pregnancy personally. I like the style too!

Andrnick said...
on Dec. 9 2009 at 6:56 pm
Well, Sorry to put it this way but it's the worst story on this website.

Sorry.....Bad description....I'd consider this as a poetry but overall it isn't the creative bliss I'd expect from a writer like you.

NsCvIuS said...
on Dec. 9 2009 at 6:21 pm
NsCvIuS, New Hartford, New York
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.
--Joan of Arc

Well, that was rather ambigious...

on Dec. 9 2009 at 12:44 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

i'm guessing it was a pregnancy test? maybe? or an std ? but you know what. this was really good. you have talent!

guitarchick said...
on Dec. 9 2009 at 9:12 am
good article but whats happening? What kind of test is it?

on Nov. 17 2009 at 10:04 pm
twizzlerhero SILVER, Anchorage, Alaska
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"He gave her 12 roses 11 were real 1 was fake he told her he would love her till the last one dies" -?

i liked it it was good but i didnt really get a feel of wat was going on sorry

on Nov. 17 2009 at 10:02 pm
Writedancelove&live GOLD, Redding, California
12 articles 2 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
"Karen: If you're from Africa why are you white? Gretchen: Omg Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."

Wow I love your detail. Amazing! The title was capturing, and made the reader want to find out what was going on. Please never stop writing.

jmc.13 said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 8:19 pm
jmc.13, Dobbs Ferry, New York
0 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather regret what I did than what I didn't do."

I loved this piece. The suspense was fantastic. You set the scene perfectly and the language was extremely meaningful.

Please, as a service to us all, keep writing.

evie428 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 6:00 pm
evie428 BRONZE, Ontario, Other
4 articles 1 photo 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing a novel is not merely going on a shopping expedition across the border to an unreal land: it is hours and years spent in the factories, the streets, the cathedrals of the imagination."

Wow great description . . . !! Just wish there was more detail! :)

on Nov. 17 2009 at 5:22 pm
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
27 articles 0 photos 266 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving up is not a part of my vocabulary."
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
"Truth be told I miss ya, truth be told I'm lying."

I love ur descriptions!!! This is gr8 keep it up!!

on Nov. 17 2009 at 3:58 pm
firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
51 articles 6 photos 105 comments
This is wonderful! I think the lack of detail makes it even more intriguing and powerful. Great job!

Jaquie BRONZE said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 3:36 pm
Jaquie BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 407 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is certainly one of my favorites: "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." -2 Samuel 6:22

Incredible. I love this... It has a pensive feel but is still totally understandable. Fabulous job.

God bless,

...,

on Nov. 17 2009 at 10:31 am
this story was great. but it needs more detail. what was the test on?

E.Lee GOLD said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 9:52 am
E.Lee GOLD, Akron, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 168 comments
this was soo good:D great work

on Oct. 26 2009 at 8:01 pm
AspireToInspire SILVER, Thornville, Ohio
8 articles 2 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Praepartur animus contra omnia. ♥

This was really amazing. I could feel the tension building, and I really like the part in the middle where you released it for just a second. That was genious. In response to everyone wondering what it was a test for, I personally think that is was for pregnancy (as do many others here, I can see), and I think that the part about dancing under a tacky disco ball kind of elaborates on that. But I love the mystery and elusiveness that you added to this story. It was fantastic. :)

on Oct. 26 2009 at 7:11 pm
PunkRockLobster GOLD, Manhattan, Kansas
17 articles 4 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Carpe diem quam minime credula postero (Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future)
And if not now, when?

this is amazing! very descriptive!! i really loved it :) it is one of my favorites now. and i like how it could be any type of disease

on Oct. 26 2009 at 6:30 pm
MeganAnne PLATINUM, Niskayuna, New York
24 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
All my life I've looked at words as if I were seeing them for the first time. ~Ernest Hemingway

I really like it!

on Oct. 26 2009 at 9:38 am
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's mouth...it will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

Very well written.
Is it a pregnancy test?

RLJoy DIAMOND said...
on Oct. 18 2009 at 8:07 pm
RLJoy DIAMOND, Glen Rock, New Jersey
56 articles 0 photos 89 comments
this is written so well!!!!! I really liked it. I also really like your description. Keep writing

nataliew32 said...
on Oct. 4 2009 at 11:35 pm
I loved it, it was really descriptive! I like how you left what was positive to the reader, it could be anything from pregnancy to cancer. It's suspensful, even at the end. :) i liked it.


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