Dialogue Between Franklin and The Gout

January 23, 2010
By Michael LaFlamme SILVER, La Mesa, California
Michael LaFlamme SILVER, La Mesa, California
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Franklin: Ouch! What have I done to deserve this terrible thing?

Gout: You deserve it for being lazy and not exercising.

Franklin: Well who are you to decide that. Maybe I do not enjoy walking long distances. I have earned the right to ride in a carriage.

Gout: What have you done to deserve that?

Franklin: I played a key part in America’s revolution and now I am an old man who does not enjoy exercising. I enjoy being able to eat whatever I want. And did you ever think that maybe I also enjoy being fat?

Gout: Well I never thought about it that way. If so how could you enjoy such a thing?

Franklin: Well first of all I never have to worry about people asking me to help them with a physical activity so I can play chess, which I enjoy very much, while other people work. Second I don’t have to watch what I eat to watch my body because I am already fat. I am happy the way I am.

Gout: How can you be happy in that condition?

Franklin: Well I was much better off before you came along. Since you showed up I have been in pain and people are starting to try and tell me that I should live a healthier lifestyle.

Gout: Well I am helping you reach that healthier lifestyle. Before people were just being nice and they would only make fun of you behind your back. I am just trying to help you.

Franklin: No I am much better off without you in my life. You are ruining everything that I have always longed to do, which is nothing.

Gout: YOU LIE!

Franklin: Well now you are just being arrogant. How can you tell me that what I know is wrong? I despise you very much. Just leave now and never come back!

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