Th last Pegasus (may change it): 1st chapter

December 25, 2009
Starting a pet shop was, my biggest goal in life. As a thirteen year old girl, I didn't think this was possible and that anyone would help me. Fate proved me totally wrong.

I remember wanting to start a pet shop as I walked into my own store. I remembered how hard I tried to get there. I remembered that, that was only a few weeks ago. thinking back even more reminded me of all of the people that helped me get here. My family donated money for me to get my pet shop and they went through a lot of paperwork to get me here. They did this for me and my animal likability. I walked into the new building trying to figure out where I was going to put everything. I placed my hands on my hips thoughtfully and stared at the shelves stocked with the supplies. The orders had come in yesterday, and since I had no workers, my mom helped me pile it all up and place the prices everywhere. I looked disapprovingly at the back of the store and walked over to observe it. “Hm mm”, I thought to myself, “this could be a dog kennel in the back here.” I thought about it some more and realized it was possible, as well as the cages I had previously set up for smaller animals. We could put cages over here, for adopted animals, and kennels over there, for those who needed watching, I thought, striding along the back wall like a cat. Now all I needed was a “we”.

I had no friends whatsoever in the new town I moved to, it being the small town of Swanton. I was 13, previously home schooled, and when and if school started, it'd be my first time going to one. I needed to find a people to help me, and i didn't care what age. “I’ll put up a sign!” I said out loud and slapping my forehead, ashamed of my stupidity. I ran to the back spare room where my office would be, and found the pieces of cardboard and markers I brought here earlier that day. I began to make the sign. The sign read “Help wanted: needs to be good with animals and/or with organization.” I thought that was too long and went to get another piece of cardboard. This time I wrote “Help wanted interviews 1:00 p.m. till 4:00 p.m.” I walked over to the windows and put it up with sticky tacks. I watched people pass by as they looked at the sign and the young girl behind it. Once they saw me, they rolled their eyes. I frowned, this would never work.

I turned around and looked up at the clock “Crap, I’m going to be late for dinner!” I said to myself. As if anything else needed to go wrong. I locked up the store, fumbling with the keys, as quickly as possible and hopped on my bike. I rode home as fast as my long skinny legs could push me on my short, tiny bike.

"That is so the first thing I'm getting when this business starts to work, a new bike," I grumbled as i swerved a corner sharply.

“Catherine Marie Fantoise!” My mother screamed as she saw me turn the corner.

“Yes mother,” I said in a sweet, fake voice

“Why are you late for dinner?! You know that’s the one and only rule I have right now?" she asked with an edge to her voice.

I thought about that statement for a while, zoning out. Technically she had more than that one rule, she had a million, and believe me, they weren't as easy to keep track of as you'd think. The irony of that question made me roll my big brown eyes.

"I can add more," she threatened, glaring me down.

"No need," I said, trying to be calm and responsible like a good pet store owner would. "Mom, I'm sorry. I was trying to figure things out for my shop. Can I please have a little bit of a rule bender until I have everything set up and ready?”

"I'll have to think about it while I'm thinking about your punishment,” she said waving me into the house.

“But Mom!” I shrieked

“Don’t but mom me. Now get inside,” I went inside like she said and sat down for my dinner. She brought it to me and I tried to talk her into forgiving me.

“Mom you know when you got your first job how you stayed there 24/7?” I asked, while munching on my food.

“Don’t start or I'll make it worse,” she said pointing a finger at me warningly.

“OK sorry but mom I’d like to start school up in August so I could try and make some new friends,” I said randomly and trying to change the subject.

“I'll think about it” She said rubbing her head.

“OK, I've decided on your punishment, its that your not aloud to go to your store tomorrow and you have to go to bed right after dinner.” she said in a very non-argumentative tone.

“Fair enough” I practically sang trying to make me sound happy; not thinking it was as fair as I made it sound. I finished my supper and went to bed.

Join the Discussion

This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

hayhay11rb said...
May 15, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Hey guys/girls (whichever you prefer)  I have gotten my other story, Amazing HAppinings, posted.  Please read it and comment PLEASE!!!!!!
AprilBlue said...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Well it's a bit anti climactic :) but it defintely has potential. Are you living through the character? Because from her perspective saying she has 'long skinny legs' and 'big brown eyes' sounds slightly stuck up. 
hayhay11rb replied...
Apr. 22, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Just becasue someone has long skinny legs and brown eyes doesn't mean shes stuck up.  Because actually, I have long skinny legs (chicken legs :) ) and deep brown eyes.  I didnt base her after me I just like those features.  Thanks for the feedback but honestly I dont agree with you on that note. 


Now about the whole plot thing, thats the reason I gave up on the story, so I knew that.  Im creating another story, if you cant see the replies I have t... (more »)

ZebraWithoutStripes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 6:07 pm
it definitely needs more added to it to get to a climax but so far i like it. don't give up on it! :)
hayhay11rb replied...
Apr. 22, 2010 at 5:32 pm
ill try.  ONe of the main reasons I gave up on it was because I was having troubles on getting to the climax...  So, right now I'm wroking on another story thats called Amazing Happenings and I'm waiting for it to be published so just read that.  sry.
Lil_Soldier said...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 12:42 am

i dont think u should give up...i enjoyed reading this peice of work...its really good just like  swordgirl said.

keep up tha good work.... =)

hayhay11rb replied...
Apr. 21, 2010 at 2:36 pm
thanks a ton!
SwordGirl said...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 5:02 pm

This is really good! I almost see the story playing out in front of me, instead of just reading the words.


How long do you plan to make this?

hayhay11rb replied...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 6:22 pm
YOu really like it?  I thought it kinda stunk....  I have a couple of more chapter salready written I just havent posted them cause no one was commenting so.... I just submitted a different story but I can submit a continuation of this one if you would like.
hayhay11rb replied...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 6:28 pm
oh and I actually, was going to make 4 books out of it but I kinda gave up...
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