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But What About ME

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What are friends to you? Is a friend that person you go to whenever something’s on your mind? To me, my friends are my family. To me, my friends are my life support; whenever I loose a friend, I loose a part of myself. Every person has friends, but what is really special is when you come across that one indescribable relationship with that one indescribable person. It’s that unbreakable bond between both of you that makes it so special. You are probably thinking of a person in your life like this… you’re probably smiling and have that giddy feeling in your stomach. I get this feeling when I think about Maddie Holmes. The bond between my best friend and I is literally unbreakable, untouchable and unrealistic. This girl makes me happy when I am sad. She somehow turns my frown upside down. Maddie is more than a friend or a B.F.F. Maddie is like my sister. At times I want her all to myself. I guess when it comes down to Maddie, I’m not good at sharing.



I have known Maddie my whole life. Saying we were more like sisters than just good friends, is 100% true. Her house is my house and my house is her house. We fight like sisters. We tell each other the truth, even if it’s not nice. I can remember a time when Maddie and I went shopping. I had put a pair of jeans on, and I didn’t think they were very flattering. So I asked Maddie, “Hey, Mads do these jeans make me look fat?” She came into my dressing room, looked at what I had on and said, “Yes.” If any other person had said that I would’ve gotten so mad, but it wasn’t just any person. It was my sister, my Maddie. Whenever Maddie and I are together people can see how much we care about each other. Sometimes I even think Maddie knows me better than I know myself. She can finish my sentences for me. I don’t even have to tell Maddie that something’s wrong, she knows automatically.



Maddie and I are the kind of friends that are so different from each other, but somehow have so much in common. You know when you’re with you’re friends and you are trying to describe an inside joke, but it makes absolutely no sense at all? Well the movie She’s the Man is our inside joke. Every time I go to Maddie’s house we have our annual movie nights. Every movie night we have, we watch She’s the Man. We just sit in the movie room, and say every single word with actors and actresses. I have watched that movie a thousand times, and it never gets old! I don’t think I could live without those movie nights! I know I couldn’t live without Maddie!



So when someone tells me that my life long friendship might be in jeopardy, I have a legal right to start freaking out and hyperventilate! We were both in the 8th grade, the time when you start applying for high school. For some weird reason people were coming up to me and saying stuff like, “I bet it’s going to be hard without Maddie in high school!” or even, “Do you think ya’ll are going to keep you’re friendship?” When I heard these things, it was just silly and way off! There was absolutely no reason for Maddie not to go to Houston Christian High School. Or at least, in my mind there wasn’t. So, I went up to Maddie after hearing all these crazy comments and said in a sarcastic tone, “Hey, you want to hear something funny?” Instead of Maddie’s happy, glowing face, she looked worried. I could barely hear her mumble the words, “Sure.” I ignored her sad mood and chirped out the words, “People are saying that you, my best friend, might NOT go to Houston Christian!” I laughed and laughed, but she didn’t. “Hello?” I exclaimed in a harsh, sarcastic tone “Isn’t that funny?” Maddie didn’t laugh. Maddie didn’t say anything; she just slowly pulled her head up. I was surprised to be greeted with a red, wet face. Her mascara was running, her eyes were puffy, and she was breathing in a choppy pattern. I was shocked. I knew a look of sheer panic must have crossed my face because I did not know why Maddie was crying. I scanned my mind for a logical reason for her to be unhappy and then I realized something. I let go of Maddie and started to slowly back away. Maddie wasn’t going to Houston Christian. All those silly rumors were true. I was broken and felt like someone just reached inside of me and tore out my heart. My life support was gone; I felt like I was slowly and painfully dying.

Maddie and I didn’t talk much. I hated talking about Maddie going to Kinkaid. Every time the topic came up, I would cry and think about the past. I wished things were like they were in kindergarten, were the only thing we had to worry about was if our building blocks were about to fall. I reminisced through all of the trips we went on. I would laugh when I thought about our first time trying to snowboard. We fell and fell so many times our buts felt broken. Maddie and I were the only teenagers in Ski School, yet the five year olds were better than us! And even though we ran over people trying to snowboard and made the lift stop every time we tried to get off, I loved being on the mountain with Maddie. My mind snapped back to the present. It was unfair that Maddie would do this to me. I wandered, but what about me? I thought to myself, ‘Does she not realize that sometimes it’s not all about what she wants?’ I got angry and carried away. Now, when I look back, I think maybe she wasn’t the one being unfair. Maybe it wasn’t all about her being selfish, but maybe it was me.



Graduation day had come. Since I was President of Student Council, I was required to give a farewell speech. In my speech, I listed every single high school that each student would attend. Well, every single high school except one; it was Kinkaid. When my name was called to present my speech, something hit me. I realized that maybe Maddie didn’t plan on going to Kinkaid, but that maybe God planed on Maddie to go to Kinkaid. I instantly regretted the way I had been acting to Maddie. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, but I was already on the stage. I did what I was supposed to do; I read my speech to my class. I stopped when I came to the list of the different high schools. “We have Houston Christian High School,” I went on “Episcopal High School, Memorial High School…” when I had read the whole list, I looked up at Maddie and said, “and last but not least, Kinkaid High School!” Maddie and I both broke down in tears. I stood there in front of everyone just soaked in tears, but they weren’t sad tears. Those tears were happy tears. So after I finally stopped crying, I went on with my speech. After the whole thing was finally over, the slideshow, the diplomas; I ran to my best friend and gave her probably the biggest hug a fourteen year girl can give and said, “I’m sorry!” Of course Maddie yelled, “Oh just shut up and let me hug you!” So there we stood, just hugging each other. My worries were gone and so were hers.



I changed that night. I learned something that is never easy to fully comprehend. The thing I learned was one very important lesson in life. It was that no matter who you are, no matter how old you are, and no matter how out of control and wrong you may be; God has a plan, a purpose and a promise for you. On that graduation night, I discovered that my plan is to go to Houston Christian High School, and Maddie’s plan is to go to Kinkaid High School. Even though sometimes I don’t like, it’s not about me.



You should know, God’s plan for Maddie made our friendship even stronger. We still have our annual movie nights and we talk on the phone probably too much! I will admit I’m still super selfish when it comes to Maddie. I can’t help but to want her all to myself! She’s my best friend and my sister.





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