The inside of the house was warm and the smell of apples was overpowering. Mother and Alice were in the kitchen and Rebecca was setting the table. I took a deep breath in and let it out. Better get it done now. “Mother, could you come with me for a walk?” She turned her head and looked at me curiously. She hadn’t been out of the house since Father died. “Uh… sure,” she stuttered trying to place a fake smile on her face to cover up her terror. I held the door open and rather reluctantly she walked out. I followed her outside.


It was brighter outside than it had been this morning. The sun was gleaming and the birds seemed to be dancing in its rays. “So what did you want to talk about?” she asked with a slight break in her voice. “Mother, you do know that Father is never… he’s never coming back right?” I questioned. I heard a slight intake of her breath. “Of course I know that.” she spat at me. “Do you? You act as if nothing has gone wrong. You act as if he’s going to walk through that door at any given second. That he’s going to be there to hold your hand to help you, to be there when you need a friend.” I stopped walking and I looked her straight in the eye. “You need to put an end to this fake happiness, these fake smiles, and you need to tell Matthew and John and Alice that he’s not ever coming back, never. That way we all can move forward. Maybe I can get my life back together without having the guilt that I caused his death follow me everywhere.” I finished. I was out of breath and every second that passed I was finding it harder not to cry. “You see that tree stump right there? It did happen and you know that it was my fault. All of it!” I yelled. She looked absolutely shocked. There were tears brimming in her green eyes. I only felt half bad but I was tired of this. Without another word I stalked away. She didn’t even try to stop me as I broke into a run. I didn’t know where I was going but anywhere had to be better than here.