Pitbulls Make Great Pets

December 30, 2009
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Pitbulls Make Great Pets (Episode 1)

Paula: Ugh! What is that smell?! It smells like a men's locker room in here!

Kelsi: Alright, ladies fess up. Who here walked in here with doggy doo doo under her heel because I know my car did not have this funky smell this morning!

Phoebe: Oh... That might be me, I went to help out animal orphans yesterday down by the community center; well in the dark alley next to it. AK told me I can take one home if I want to. I love puppies!

Heather: AK? As in AK 47? Phoebe! You're adopting a dog from a gang member?! You can't do that!

Phoebe: Not everyone with a shaved head, piercings and tattoos are gang members! The man was very nice and so was the pitbull.

Kelsi: Girl, you cannot bring home a pitbull, they're designed to protect their turf! What if it has rabies?! Who knows where it's been or what it's done?!

Heather: I have a feeling I know why AK wanted to pawn him off on Phoebe.

Phoebe: Oh you guys are just being prejudiced! Pitbulls are living beings too! They have feelings like the rest of us!

Paula: Uhh chyea, the feeling to bite your head off! You are going to come home from the bar and it's gonna be dressed in one of your bikinis carrying a knife.

Phoebe: Fine, fine! I won't adopt the thing! It can just be cold and lonely without a friend. All I wanted to do was take it home and tame it and feed it doggie food regularly.

Kelsi: Alright, good for you girlfriend. Now will you get rid of that stinky shoe?! I don't want that smell in here!

Phoebe: K... I lied, I already adopted him and yesterday I did another horrible thing... I... I... was tired of treating my body like a holy temple, so... I had 3 chocolates!

Heather: Shut my mouth...

Phoebe: And... when I woke up, all the chocolate was gone! And the poor thing was looking at me with chocolate hanging off his lips.

Paula: Dogs are allergic to chocolate!

Phoebe: I know! So I went downtown to see a vet 3 in the morning! And he told me... You should consider getting a new pet! My sweet little pitbull looked so sad!

Kelsi: Aww baby girl, they all have the same expression!

Phoebe: *Waves around picture*

Kelsi: Oh! oh oh! oh, Mm hmm that's sad.

Heather: It's alright poochy, you're gonna be okay, yes you will! Yes you will!

Paula: Phoebe. In the short 20 minutes you adopted him, I bet you realized that you're not cut out to be a pet owner anyways.

Phoebe: I guess your right... I'll go return him back to AK once he's out of doggy hospital.

Kelsi: Now we can talk about something else! Like that pungent odor floating around here. Phoebe! Get rid of it!

Phoebe: *throws out shoe and a nearby car honks*

Heather: Umm Phoebe? I think you threw out the wrong shoe.

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