"Yall May Leave, My Buttercups"

October 23, 2009
By , sunnyvale, CA
Every young girl dreams about her wedding day, when she is walking down the isle, in the most beautiful dress, to meet the wonderful man at the end, awaiting you with a smile. Its a beautiful thought. Its a heartwarming desire. Its the sun shining after a rainy day. When someone talks about love, i imagine rainbows and butterflies bursting out of their old, and worthless cocoons. But, why is that the love in my heart, ceases to match the idea of love in my mind?

I sit in the back of the classroom, staring hopelessly at you, although, i am just one in the crowd. My heart beats fast, my hands begin to sweat, and i have just become another cliche that i detest so much. But you, you remain perfect and these feelings are elusive to your perfection. I imagine us together, and hearing you whisper, "I love you", to me. Or, years later, when i tell you that i am pregnant with our first child, i see the quiet tears that begin to form in your green eyes purely out of joy and amazement. I imagine us being together forever. And butterflies are envious of our past and our own personal cocoons.
As class reaches its end, i am smacked out of the dreams of my weak mind, and reality strikes me. I feel feeble, unable to smile, laugh or climb the mountain, so common of love.
"Class is dismissed, yall may leave, my buttercups."
I smile by the sarcasm in your perfect voice. And i am hopelessly reminded of my impossible love for you. Before i am aware of what is going on, you are calling my name. I again, am snapped back into reality.
"Are you okay?", you ask.
"Perfect", i say timid. Although everyone has left, if you were to know the truth about my thoughts of you, then i would feel embarrassed, as would you. For i am imagining you and me in an ocean of roses. Laying in between the stems and pedals. We talk joyfully cuddling together and the soil is beneath our love.
"Are you sure your okay?"
I nod.
"Then why are you crying?

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