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Everything Will Be Fine
I couldn’t come to open the door. I didn’t want to see what was on the other side of it. Of course I already knew, but I didn’t want to confirm it. Nurses and patients pass me as I slowly reach for the door knob, when it turns and the door opens. At first I thought it was fate itself opening the door saying to get it over with. But that quickly went away when I saw Davey standing in the doorway with a big grin on his pale face.
“Amanda! I thought you wouldn’t come today,” he says letting me in.
“I told you I would come everyday.” I sit in the faded red chair near the bed.
“Yeah but you know with your social life and all, things tend to change,” Davey responds as he gets comfortable in his hospital bed.
Davey was right though, things do tend to change. It was only a year ago that Davey was like any other teenager: going to school and hanging out with friends on the weekends. But that all changed when he got sick. Doctors didn’t know what it was. When they first told us, Davey didn’t care much about it. “Everything will be fine,” he would say and go back to solving his Rubix cube. Even after he was permanently moved to the hospital so the doctor could watch him, he still insisted that everything would be fine.
But it’s not fine. He’s lost a ton of weight and he’s been on every medicine known to man. His mother even hired a priestess to remove what ever was in him by exorcism. Of course, it didn’t work. The doctors stopped giving him chemo a week ago, so it was weird to see him without his blonde hair, but now I’m used to it. When Davey lost his hair completely, he joked about it saying that his blue eyes really popped.
“So, my dear cousin, what’s it like outside?” he asks as if he was Sherlock Holmes.
“Well, I got asked to the winter dance,” I say.
“But I said no.”
“Why? Why aren’t you going?!” He jumps off the bed and points his finger at me.
“For someone dying, you sure have a lot of energy.”
“Don’t change the subject, missy. Why aren’t you going?”
“We were supposed to go together.” I look at him with sad eyes.
“Ew. You and me. That’s gross. We’re cousins.” He gets back on the bed and pick up his Rubix cube.
“I mean you and me go but with our own dates.” I explain, rolling my eyes.
“Oh, well you have to be more clear with what you say, young one,” he says as he tries to solve the cube.
“And besides, we’re second cousins.”
“Yeah, who asked you?” He ignores my statement.
“Nope, not him, but you’re going.”
“With who?” I ask.
“Anyone but him. He has a bad reputation.” The room goes silent. The only noise we hear is that of Davey trying to solve the cube. Ever since he got the cube for Christmas three years ago, he’s been trying to solve it. But no luck so far. I tuck a strand of my brown hair behind my ear, push my glasses up and take my green jacket off revealing my black shirt.
“And I’m not dying,” Davey speaks up.
“Not this again,” I sigh.
“Hey, you brought it up.” He puts his hands up in the air.
“Davey, you are dying. The doctors said so.”
“Doctors are known to misdiagnose,” he casually states.
“Davey, please stop acting like a stubborn mule.” I say, getting upset with him.
“Nice comparison, Amanda. And how many times have I told you everything will be fine?” He puts the cube to the side and lies down on the bed.
“But what if everything doesn’t turn out okay? What if –“ I couldn’t finish my sentence. I didn’t want to say it. Davey’s my best friend. We did everything together, heck we were born on the same day. We’re practically twins!
“That’s not going to happen,” he says with his eyes closed.
“How do you know that, oh wise philosopher?” I say sarcastically, not expecting and answer.
“Well since you called me wise, I’ll tell you.” He raises the Rubix cube in the air. “This, my dear Amanda, will solve all our problems, or at least mine.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.” He sits up now. “You see, I make it clear countless times that I wish to solve this. My goal in life, if you will. So as long as I don’t solve it I’ll be more alive than Elvis.”
“But what if you solve it?” I ask.
“Then I die. But the chances of me solving this stupid cube are like one and none.” He lies back down.
“But what if you’re that one?”
“What if? What if? So what? Why does it matter so much?” His voice begins to rise.
“How can you not be scared? Why are you so calm about this?” A single tear slowly fall down my face. I quickly wipe it away.
“I try not to think about it so much. And so what if I die? I expect people to move on. I mean, yeah it’ll hurt you for a while but you’ll move on and get married to someone nice and have kids of your own, who I expect you to name one after me.” He stops to think, “If I should go, of course.”
“Not another word. Enough with this silly subject. I’m bored, let’s watch a movie.” He hops to a small white cabinet under the TV and begins to look for a movie. “What do you want to watch? Action or Disney?”
“Surprise me,” I say, knowing he’ll choose a Disney movie. He always does whenever I come over. It reminds him of his childhood, I guess.
Davey puts on Alice and Wonderland and turns the lights off. I go to get another bed so I can lie down. Just as the movie begins he says, “You really should worry so much, I hear its bad for your health.”
“And besides, my dear Amanda, everything will be fine.” That night I left the hospital with a newfound hope. Maybe everything will be fine. I sure hope he’s right about that.
The next day, my mom tells me something I’ve been dreading for years. Davey had just died. Arriving at the hospital, we see the doctors trying to calm my aunt, but she is too stricken with grief. While waiting, I take care of Davey’s little brother, Matthew. He looks just like Davey, the blonde hair, the bright blue eyes, just like him. Only Matthew is three and has no idea that he’s never going to see his older brother again.
My dad comes to me and asks me if I could clean out his room. I didn’t want to but my aunt was too hysterical to do it so I reluctantly go to the third floor where his room was. I couldn’t come to open the door. I didn’t want to see what was on the other side of it. Of course I already knew, but I didn’t want to confirm it. Nurses and patients pass me as I slowly reach for the door knob, when it turns and the door opens. At first I thought it was fate itself opening the door saying to get it over with. Instead it was a rather large nurse collecting the sheets. She knew why I was there and left the door wide open. I pictured that room empty a thousand times to prepare myself, but I wasn’t expecting this.
The room was empty. Not in the sense that everything was gone but it was void of life. I step in and close the door. Not only is it void of life but not a sound was there. Seeing the box of his belonging the nurses had put one the bed, I go to pick it up when I see a note on top of it.
To Whom It May Concern: That means you Amanda!! It was Davey’s handwriting. I sit on his bed and begin to read it.
First of all: oops. I guess I was wrong. If you’re reading this I did die. And if I’m still alive please stop reading and going through my stuff!!! But if I am dead, sorry, especially to you Amanda. I kept telling you that everything was going to be fine and I wasn’t going to die. I still think everything will be fine. Amanda, I want you to live life enough for two. Okay do that for me. Pleeeeease.
Your favorite cus,
Tears stream down my face at full speed. I sit there for the longest time trying to compose myself. I don’t like it when people see me crying, it shows weakness. But they keep coming and they won’t stop. After a few minutes of sobbing, I grab the box and begin to head out the door when something square catches my eye. I turn to see the Rubix cube sitting on the end table, complete. I clean my glasses to make sure I'm not seeing things. My vision is correct. The cube is sitting there with all its sides one color. I pick it up and hold it. It was his goal in life to solve it. Once that happened he had no more goals in life, he didn’t plan that far.
If had messed up his progress the night before, he might still be here. I shouldn’t have even given it to him for Christmas. I know better than to blame myself, but it’s hard not to. My hand begins to shake as the anger inside of me reaches boiling point.
“STUPID CUBE!!” I yell, and throw the cube against the wall. It scatters in to pieces of plastic. I stare at it for a while, not knowing if I should clean it up. More tears begin to fall but I don’t wipe them away. I finally take the box and leave the room, leaving the one thing Davey made a goal in life to finish in a million pieces.