The Hillbille Hunters part 3

December 16, 2009
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In this, part three of our story, Bill, Carter, Bob and Rufus are all together again and are trying to escape the hunting grounds with the skin on their backs. Let's check in on them, shall we?

"Now, what is the nearest way out of here, huh?" asked Bill as the group sat around a roaring fire toasting marshmallows and weenies.

"Well, the closest way I can think of is over that way," said Bob as he pointed west. "There's only one problem though..."

"ROOOAAARRR!!!!" screamed something over in the direction Bob was pointing towards.

"What in the name of Mike was that?!" screamed Carter as he jumped five feet in the air like a little schoolgirl.

"Well, I'm not usually one for smartness, however if I am correct, it was a Tyrannosaurus Rex, or T-Rex for short. What do you think Rufus?" asked Bob.

"Ruff ruff ruff."(I would say it was a male, 17 tons, 25 1/2 feet tall, 19 years old.)

"How do you know that?" asked Bob.

"We get around a lot, don't we Rufus?"

“Bill, you’re a dang genius!” Said Carter

“Yeah!! I’m a… what am I?” asked Bill drool falling from his mouth. An awkward silence fell on the group.

"Bob, I want the truth, what was that over there that just roared like a banshee?"

"No way Jose, I ain't gonna tell you, you can't handle the truth!" shrieked Bob.

"TELL ME!! Tell me right now!" responded Carter in hysteria induced scream.

"Ugghh... fine, our research team called ENGINE has been experimenting with DNA to create the perfect experience, hunting live dinosaurs. However, when we tested the machines to create a triceratops egg, it spewed out a hatched T-Rex egg and Velocoraptors out the wazzu."

"Okay, let me get this straight. We're walking around aimlessly, with no idea of where the exit is, in a hunting ground, that is infested and completely over-the-wall with giant, blood-thirsty dinosaurs?" questioned Bill.

"To put it simply... yes." said Bob.

"And you actually thought there would not be a single backfire in this whole plan?"

"Hey, don't blame me. I was against this plan in the first place!"

"Woof, ruff, ruff, woof. (Is there even a remote chance we will survive?)

"Oooo, short answer `yes` with an `if`, long answer `no`, with a `but`," replied Bob. "If you want out, I suggest you follow me!"

"We're gonna die." Carter whispered to Bill, who had his head in his hands. Then, our gang of complete idiots and Rufus (who was probably smarter than all of them combined) went off in the direction of the exit.

"Morning came, and our friends were sound asleep.

"AUUUGGH!! What was that!?" screamed Bob.

"That was the narrator Bob, we're in a written story, didn't you know that?" asked Bill.

"Oh...YO NARRATOR!!" he screamed. YO BOB! Ahem... where was I, oh yes! Carter was still in his sleeping-bag when he felt something lick his face.

"Rufus, stop that." Carter replied sleepily. He opened his eyes and instead of seeing the warm, loving eyes of a handicapped dog, he saw the cold, evil, hating eyes of a non-handicapped Raptor.

"Carter," said Bob very quietly and slowly. "Don't...move."
To Be Continued...Right now:

Suddenly, the Raptor made a noise so vile, so disgusting, so shockingly indescribable, I cannot attempt to describe it in the words I am typing right now. However, I might as well give it a shot. The Raptor said...

"Can I have one of your hot dogs to eat? I am starving!"

All Bill could say was: "Okay, didn't see THAT coming."

"Oh, terribly sorry to frighten you, let me introduce myself: I am Veloc O. Raptor, however you may call me `V`."

"Holy cow! You dinos can talk!? I knew it, I knew you could talk. Tell me, were you always able to speak English?" questioned Bob.

"Oh surrre, it was my third language after Japanese and Russian!" replied `V`, rather sarcastically.

"Whoa! A big, sarcastic, 65 million year old, talking fossil. You must be a devil with the ladies." Carter told `V`.

"That's beside the point, the real point is: I know how to get out of here, and obviously, you dunderheads don't. So I am willing to help you out alive, being the generous, handsome, brave, macho-man I am."

"Fine, you win, help us out of here already." Carter told `V` hastily

"Why do I surround myself with these Hillbilly idiots all the time? Why, Why, WHY?!" screamed Bob.

"I feel for ya' bro." said Bill, who was trying (and failing) to act cool for once by placing his hand on Bob's shoulder.

"Get off me, will ya'!?" said Bob, as he shook off Bill's hand.
The group was probably closer than ever to getting out of the hunting grounds. They were extremely happy to think that maybe, they would finally get out of that heck-hole and never have to return again. They were to happy, in fact, to even notice the 17 ton, 25 1/2 foot tall, 19 year old, male shadow silently stalking them from about 200 meters away.
Of part three

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