Jaiden

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A resurrecting scene of the mind, replaying...replaying...replaying. A story with no end. My hands gripping onto the two pillows smashed against my head. Muffling voices that bang on the white washed walls. Who's voices they were and why they existed was only a question to me. I did not care for those around me. Their troubles and strifes mean nothing. And neither do my own to them, or myself. I sigh and swing my legs onto the floor. My nerves spark at the cold surface. I've never known what exactly the floor was made of, it's neither wood nor carpet. People here don't tell me what is what. I'm just waiting to die. My parents want that, to just stay in this place that I do not know the name of and wait till this unknown floor and these unknown voices cease to exist.

The only thing I know is I am called Jaiden and go by the name, Jaiden. My parents are Jill and Carter. Last names are kept secret, in order to not establish a sense of authority with the other people. Besides of those in the white suits with the fearful items and such. Colors are limited to black, white, and gray. Outside the small window in my sleeping area are objects I can cannot comprehend, that move by some force. They have a color, but it's neither black, gray, nor white. The white suit men tell us that those things produce oxygen and allow us to live. What is oxygen? Why does something allow you to live with out granting you life. I do not understand what is outside these walls that keep us in.

A knock was at the door. My heart jumped and my body fidgeted. The two pillows fell to the floor. “238.” A man in a white suit, stood outside the clear glass door. I met eyes with him, “Yes?” I whimpered. His hand reached for the door knob, turned it, and opened the door. I moved my feet slowly, gently placing them on the floor. Going out of my sleeping area was an unsettling experience each day. It was bright, long, and narrow. My mind felt clogged and my body couldn't relax. The man fiercely took hold of my forearm and led me down the bright area. We reached the end of the area at the last door, as usual. He opened the door and let me go through, closing it behind me. This area was different from the rest. It was dark and wide. I couldn't see each wall of the area, where it ended. It was only darkness.

Another man lead me to a spot I have been to before, I sat down in a position that did not strain my body, and closed my eyes. My ears perked at each movement of those around me. The silence continued until a godly voice engulfed us all. He tells me my name is Jaiden, and my parents are Jill and Carter. I have black hair and black eyes. My skin is gray. This world is white. The world beyond does not concern me. Others do not concern me. I speak only to myself and the men in the white suits. I am to obey the men in white suits. They are my protectors. I must obey them and treat them as my master. Once the man has finished speaking we are sent back to our sleeping areas.

I awoke again to the same noise, repeating once again, yells and screams. This time they seemed to come from a certain direction rather than in my head. I lifted up from bed and peered out the glass door. There was another person, not a white suit man, that was being touched by many white suit men. He was being guided to the other side of the bright, narrow area. A part I've never been to. He was lifting himself off the floor, going over the floor without touching it, and then going back down. His body was resisting the hands of the men in the white suit. One of the men in the white suit backed away and reached for a fearful item. It was black and rested in his hands, he placed a finger in a small slot that was between the top and bottom of the fearful item. His finger pulled back and an object connected to a string came out and hit the flailing man on the waist. He went limp and fidgeted. The men in the white suits picked up the man and placed him back into his sleeping area.

I was disturbed by this site. The godly voice told us the men in the white suits were our protectors. Yet when the fearful item hit the man, it did not feel that the man was being protected. I sat on the bed with my legs cuddling my chest. My fingers dragged along the sheets as I pondered the meaning of this area I'm in. The light went away and the dark barged in. The pitter-patter in the bright area quieted as the men in the white suits are ushered by the darkness out of the area. I laid in my bed, the covers up to my chin, my hands were balled close to my chest. Thoughts were clouding my sight. Why was the man resisting? Does he know something I do not? Questions I would have never thought of asking before are clawing at my mind. I feel... I feel... I do now know what it is that I feel. This feeling pushed me out of bed and to the clear door. I look down at the door knob. Can I touch it? Can I do what the men in the white suits do every day? Or is it something they are only granted to do. My 2nd finger traced around the doorknob. Turn it or not? The feeling stabbed my heart and thrust my hand onto the doorknob, turned and opened. My jaw clenched and eyes stared at the floor. Have I been spotted? I lifted my head, no one was around. Hurrying seemed to be the best thing to do and I walked quickly over to the door next to me. I peered inside, the man was sitting upward towards the window. I opened the door and stepped into his sleeping area.

The air was cold and sent a sensation down my back. “Who are you?” My legs locked and torso straightened. The man's head glanced my way and he patted his bed. “Sit.” I obeyed. “Why are you here? It's against the rules to be out of your room with out a guard.” His eyes didn't leave the window, the sight outside of it seemed clear. More clear than my own window.

His words made no sense to me. “Rules? What are rules? And what is a guard...or a room?” His body turned to me. “Can you please tell me what it is that you know? I am clueless to what this area is. Or why I am here.”

It was silent.

“This 'area' is called an asylum. People that do not function correctly are collected and put into here.” the man answered me, but I felt more confused than I did before. He continued, “The world outside is far from what it is like in here. Colors vary, there is not only gray, black, and white, but also blue, green, multicolors.” He pointed out the window, “See that? The object that sways.” I nodded to him. “That's called a tree. The lighter color is called green, and what is green are called leaves. Leaves are held by branches that are connected to a trunk. The branches and trunk are the color brown.”

I stared at the “tree”. This new discovery was unbelievable and amazing. He told me of the “sky” and of “homes”. That people live in these “homes” under the “sky”. That in “homes” people are assigned to “rooms” which are like my sleeping area. And that the area outside of my “room” is called a corridor. I felt my mouth lift and stretch across my face. My eyes being squished by my cheeks. This type of rough air escaping from my mouth, as he told me stories of his life outside this “building”. He also told me of time. That when there is light, it's called daytime. And when there is darkness it is called nighttime. It was overwhelming but as “daytime” came I only wanted to know more. I felt relieved when he told me why I came to him. He said it was a feeling of curiosity. When you have the need to know about what you don't know about. All this information was running in my mind that I couldn't pay attention to the voice that told me of myself. It continued the same through out a time he told me was known as a week. I learned of things called “mountains” and “oceans”. Snow, wind, sun, rain, clouds. Different types of food. My curiosity was piling up in my heart.

I awoke in the middle of the night. My sheets coiled around my legs. My eyes darted to the door, and I lifted myself out of the bed. I went into the corridor, and my feet moved on their own. I walked to end of the hall I've never been to before. Each room showed the same scene, white sheets over a gray-soul person. I thought of myself being a gray-soul once. Thinking only what I'm meant to think. Being what I'm meant to be. But the new knowledge I have has changed me. I feel as though this is not who I am and not where I belong. I opened a door at the end of the hall that was not clear. It was solid, I opened it and there were stairs. The man taught me how to walk up and down stairs, so I was prepared. I carefully stepped down them, all the way to the bottom where the stairs stopped and became floor. There were two doors, one that said “EXIT” and another that said “EMPLOYEES ONLY”. The exit door opened to the outside world, or should I say, the rest of the world.





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