October 12, 2009
With both hands pressed against the cold hard winter ground, she tried to lift her head but couldn't. The sirens wailed in the distance. She could hear her best friend franticly screaming her name but he seemed so far away, unreachable. She tried to take a breath but instead just coughed up icy water, chocking her, and burning the inside of her throat. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't focus on anything put the crippling pain paralyzing her. Even the pulse of blood pumping through her veins was unbarable. She hadn't expected it to be like this, she never expected an outcome as awful as surviving.
... She could rember everything crystal clear almost as if she was on instant replay. The adnaline rush as she reached the edge of the bridge was something nothing in the world could match. Hearing her own heartbeat as she contemplated her own death. She had gotten up before the sunrise and it was 10 below outside. A light and fluffy coat of snow after the perfect storm coated the ground. Today was supposed to be her chance to escape the hell in witch she was forced to live; today she thought she was going to die. She hadn't seen will there how could she have foreseen he would be skating this early in the morning, no one got up that early, hadn’t heard him call her name to wrapped up, to focused on what she was about to do to see or hear anyone. That meant he had watched her walk barefoot to the ice covered bridge, saw her climb onto the slippery edge over the thinnest patch of ice. He had probably even screamed her name but honestly she didn't notice. He must have watched the knowing smile cross her lips as she steeped off the edge and dove into the ice covered lake. He would want an explanation if she pulled through this no doubt, but how could she tell him how could she even begin. The ice crashing around her giving way beneath her weight shattering the sclience like glass the very sclience that suffocated her. The numbness no sleeping pill could ever match even mixed with alchol. How could she explain to him in a way he would be able to understand without hating her that she just wanted the pain to stop, how what she wanted most was to die. No Kat could never tell him that it would hurt him too much.

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