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An Exclusively One-Sided Conversation

By , Moraga, CA
“Hi, I’m Jennifer. Oh, hello Dolores. I didn’t see you behind this hulking man of yours. Are you two married?”
“Oh, that’s wonderful! Congratulations! It’s nice to meet you, Jack. You could have told me you were getting married, Dolores. I would have loved to come to the wedding.”
“What? Don’t be silly, of course I know who you are. We had so much fun training for those silly Olympics. You see, Jack, Dolores and I trained with the US Olympic gymnastics team. We had so much fun, even through all those pull-ups and all that falling. You really do fall more often than you actually hit your landing. Anyway, I was convinced that I would be a hit when we finally got to compete, but there was a complication. He was gorgeous. He was also like eighth in line for the thrown until the family disowned him. We had a fling and it was publicized and the royal family felt motivated to pull some strings so that I was forbidden to compete. I never watched the Olympics that year because my gorgeous royal dumped me for a runway model. It was really impossible for me to dry my eyes for weeks.”
“Dolores, don’t be silly. I’m sure you met the guy. He hung around for at least a week before anyone figured out he wasn’t in England.”
“Dolores, I do apologize for not watching you win those medals, but I see no reason for you to deny your accomplishments so adamantly. Jack, I’m very happy for you. You have a truly talented, spectacular wife. I hope you two enjoy the party!”





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