Something Like a Monologue

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(Mandy is doing a monologue. She improvises because she ends up not being prepare to do one. She talks to the audience as if she knows what she is doing. This is a comedic monologue of a who girl does a “monologue”)

Mandy: (Walks on stage very confused looks nervous.) Hello! How are you guys doing? Good? That’s great! (Pauses.) Uh.. Give me a second.. (turns to the left.) Can I start now? I can? Do I have to? (Faces to the audience.) Okay (Takes a deep breath.) Hello, again. My name is Mandy Samson and I will be doing a monologue! (Takes another deep breath.) (Pause again and smiles.) D*** it! I lost it. Wait.. I LOST IT? Where did it go? This isn’t good. (Looks around.) (Walks towards the audience.) Do you have it? (Walks to the left.) Do you have it? (Stops and walks to the center.) YOU! Oh, yes you! Oh know you have it! No? I’m watching you. (Glares and walks back to the middle of the stage.) Think Mandy Think! (Paces around.) You can do this! You got this! They’re waiting for you to stop talking to yourself and perform (Stops and pouts.) I can’t do this! Everyone is watching! (Stops again.) EVERYONE IS WATCHING ME!! Hey.. is that my Math teacher? And over there, is that the cute boy in my lit class? (Stops.) Uh.. did I just say that out loud? Hope he’s not looking this way. (Looks at the same direction again.) Okay, he saw me staring at him and ran away. Ha that’s embarrassing. (Hesitates.) I wonder if he has girlfriend or my number? (Stops.) Stay on topic Mandy! (Shakes her whole body.) Okay, Here I go. (Pauses.) Any second now. (Pauses.) What’s the point! This is not going anywhere! I’m not going to get this done! (Looks frustrated.) This is impossible! But it looks so easy! You go on stage. (stops) Greet the audience. Smile and recite your monologue. They would laugh if it’s funny or cry if it’s depressing. At the end, they would give you a round of , If it’s good. (Stops looks to the left.) Wait.. What. What do you mean my time is up? I haven’t even started my monologue yet. I’m not moving. Yep. You heard me! (Stops.) (Two people walk towards her.) Hey. W-What are you guys doing. (They grab her.) Uh.. Guess my time is up? Thank you! (They take her off stage and lights go off.)





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