Toy Attack

January 13, 2009
By Jake Griffioen, Hartland, WI

Toy Attack
I lurched out of bed to the sound of Rufus screaming. I wandered through the dark cold house feeling around for a safe path toward the cries. I needed to board up the windows and doors last week after they made a vicious attack on me. I feel like a culprit in my own home. I've done nothing.
It was a normal rainy Saturday morning. I thought. My favorite show Power Rangers was on in the den and I had my large bowl of Capin' Crunch. I heard the steady pings of the rain on the window but I never checked if the basement windows were shut.
As I walked down the Basement stairs I saw the men executing a clandestine Attack on my six month old lab. I fell to my knees screaming why? why? why? That Rain was no rain at all!
I went upstairs to play with my toys to escape the boredom this rain was causing me. I went to my room and it was wiped out. Every Toy I had was gone. The scene of my room was insane. I had never seen the floor before! All my friends were gone. Slinky Dog, Woody, Piggy Bank, and all the Army men had ESCAPED!
Those dang toys had somehow come alive, running rampant in my beloved city. I don't understand how this could happen. After years of play and protection how could they turn on me? At first the law enforcement had shrugged at me about the mayhem these toys could bring. I told them we must all concur on a plan to get these toys away from our families. Burning building and tearing down bridges what next could these action figures do.
The toys now are selling dirty magazines to little children and giving cigarettes to pregnant women. The flagrant creatures need to be stopped before it is too late. They don't comply with our laws and seem to be without a book of ethics, as us humans do. They could all learn from South Park as we all have. The toys are inexorable and will persist on terrorizing or city till we give in to the evil Zores demands.
We need help! I can't keep living in my house like a scene from Signs. Stop the toys from reeking havoc on H-Town. Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!!

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