A long time ago in western town far, far, far away…




“Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?” asked the judge.



“I do!” stated the cigar hastily.


“Ok. A-a-hem, Mr. Francisco Indigo Montoya de Juan Cortez Feliz, please state your testimony,” rambled the judge.





“Thank you,” said the cigar. “It all started one morning a week ago when I was made by the wonderful maker. I was picked up by Black Bart that very day. As he unwrapped me I could feel the hot sun sizzling my sensitive wrapping. We walked into the corral and Bart whispered something into the owner’s ear. Money was exchanged and we walked back into the sunshine.”


“So let me get this straight, he exchanged money with the corral owner?” questioned the judge.


“Quietly and unheard, yes he exchanged money,” continued the cigar. “We then headed straight for the bank. When we arrived, the teller saw us walking into the bank and immediately upon seeing Black Bart; he started shoveling money into a bag. Black Bart, confused, backed away slowly. Shoveling money, the teller threw him the bag. Bart, seeing it as an odd thing to do called,


“What are you doing?”


“At that very moment, the sheriff burst in the bank through the swinging, creaky, old doors. Assuming the worst he pulled out his shiny pistol, shoved some bullets into it, and aimed for Bart’s chest. Bart pulled his out in self defense, but it was to late before you could say “feliz navidad” the bullet was in the air. It moved so slowly it seemed, hitting his chest with a thud, resounding in a boom. Bart’s limp body fell to the ground. Meanwhile, I was freefalling to the hard wood floor that still smelt of Brazilian rainforest. Not soon after that, more police came and it was turned into a full scale investigation. That is the reason we are all here today.”




“Thank you very much Mr.….um…..Cigar,” said the judge. “Would the defendant like to call any others to the stand?”




“Yes, your honor, we call Mr. Gallop, Bart’s horse, to the stand.”




“Mr. Gallop please state your testimony,” said the judge




“Well…”



The End