the fat and the confused

June 3, 2009
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My name is Jesse Wyatt Kirk, it’s the year 32,093451. After world war 36, we discovered a new planet, and we called it glop because it, well looked like a big glop of something. But knowing earth we went to war with them. And we got totally killed, then some huge tomb sucked all the energy out of are planet now we have no technology. So we did what we new what to do. And we went back to the dark ages, or the roman times. So here we are. I was born a monk… I think, because that’s what my papa says. But then my human parents left me at the zoo. And now I am raised by donkeys, we’re a family of four, me my dad and my mama oh and some weird dude in the corner. I have been trying to find that true love. I only have had one true love and that is when I was a boy. She was a donkey. But a few days latter I found out she got slaughtered in to a burger. And man oh man I never thought love tasted so good. So yes that does mean I ate her, Could have had more salt though.
I am off to training camp, to become a knight. I can’t wait; every one I know is saying that it is so hard. Like training is going to kill you. If I stay here for about three months then I get my first mission, to go save the princess. I’m so excited, but everyone gets that quest. Maybe I will get that true love that I have been looking for. I’m here ready to train, can’t wait to get started. (Three minutes latter.) Help me, so tired cant breath. I need to get a bow flex, stupid jenny cage; it didn’t do anything for me. Fat or not my horse can hold me… I hope.

“The king wishes to see you.” Me yes… this is my chance. I can get that quest. “Jesse” said the king. Did you let the dragons out of their cave? Ummm well I was cleaning and it was talking to me, telling me to let it out. “Jesse the dragons cant talk.” Well they did. “It must have been a joke, Well go find them” All of them? “Yes all.”
The good thing about this is, maybe I will get lucky and hear a princess cry for help and I can com and save her. But right know I just want a burger king because I’m hungry. Ok horse you can make it, I hope. Hey what’s that in the distance wait is that a castle, it is YES I made it, this is my lucky day… should I knock or smash through? I will knock. KNOCK KNOCK? Who is it? It’s me the knight here to save the princess, let me in. you’re what to what? SMASH. HAHA now where is that dragon? I think I see it. Ha whoa take that you dirty beast! I got it nothing to worry about. That will teach you to mess with my princess again. Wait you’re a dude? Then where is the princess. “Man you’re in a guys bordering school.” What this cant be happening to me. This is the worst day of my life.

Here I am. I never found a single dragon, but I’m not a knight anymore I quit. But I found that true love that I have been looking for. It’s my mom’s friend daughter. And she can’t be slaughtered I bought her. Well I’m off to work. So I hope to see you at burger king.





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