I heave, shudder, and kneel down, feeling the acid burn as my gut spills onto the floor. Its followed by a vaguely yellow stench of chemicals and a wave of dizziness. I clutch my stomach and feel the hard lump pulsating with an alien heartbeat sickeningly similar to my own. This is a battle I can't win.I raise my head to look in the mirror and see a pale ghost looking back with waxen skin and sunken black eyes. No hope, my breath says. No hope. This is a battle I can't win.I can feel the acid rising again and I buckle against the sink, heaving my life away. My fingers-- so ghoulish and spindly-- run through my hair and pull fistfuls out with ease. Tear burn my waning face and I turn away, unable to bear myself anymore. The tumor burns under a chemical siege and laughs at me as it feeds on my self destruction. This is a battle I can't win, and a war I've already lost.
June 2, 2009