Not sure if I should go in. All that family and emotions flying. Not just sadness. Anger. Resentment too. You know how people say not to blame yourself when people die, well that’s ridiculous. It was all my fault. Another drinking binge, but this time its angry drunk and I couldn’t stop her. She just held the knife too close. Then later without warning, my only daughter takes off too, but without the help of alcohol. Like mother, like daughter. I’m very tired. I don’t think I’ve slept since. But now, three pews from the soft permanent beds in which my two ladies lie, I drift and I am looking at myself in the long coffin. My corpse blinks and looks at me, then begins to kill me with his eyes. I wake up screaming.