Elevator Shenanigans

May 19, 2009
By Emily Mertins GOLD, Nashotah, Wisconsin
Emily Mertins GOLD, Nashotah, Wisconsin
16 articles 6 photos 0 comments

“Ooo, I love the dark.” A tall hooded figure with a bloodstained scythe admired the growing darkness as the lights flickered and then eventually went out.
At that point, a puddle had already been soaking into the carpet of the elevator floor, a scared reaction to the current events. “You’re not cool unless you pee your pants,” Billy Madison said as he clutched an empty lunchbox, obviously on his way home from school.
“Bloody hell, I’m the Prince of Darkness! Have you ever heard of Black Sabbath?” The man’s voice was as shaky as his appearance being that he was dressed in all black and had the hair to match. Ozzy Osborne attempted to glare through the thick darkness at the grim reaper, believing he was the true lover of the dark.
Billy, who was growing bored with the fact that the elevator was stationary, had pulled a left over straw from his lunchbox and had begun to launch spitballs at the Grim Reaper.
“Do you want to die? Because I can certainly arrange it at an earlier date,” the Reaper threatened, showing off his scythe though it was no use in the dark.

Billy merely laughed but his laugh turned to panic as he noted a bat that flew in from a hole in the elevator roof. He ducked overdramatically and attempted to pull his baseball cap further down on his head. “If Veronica was here, she’d save me.”

“I’ll take care of it because I’m the Prince of Darkness; the only one,” his voice fluctuated with his Parkinsonians Disease. Ozzy reached up, grabbing the bat that was fluttering around the elevator and enthusiastically bit the head off of it before spitting it at the Grim Reaper.

“ Oh yeah, then how come I’m Satan’s favorite person?” The Grim Reaper egged him on, refusing to let Ozzy’s comment simply slide by.

Billy had taken to examining the hole in elevator ceiling above, stumbling back a few feet as a pale man dressed in woman’s clothing poked his head through the hole. “Hey, you’re the Antichrist Superstar!”

He gave a swift nod and a grin with his lipstick covered lips. “I’m here to save the beautiful people.” He offered Billy a hand in order to help him get out of the elevator.

At that point, Billy’s eyes had been playing tricks on him and he thought that Marilyn Manson was actually a penguin. This fact made Billy want to follow him out of the elevator. He grabbed the hand that had been offered to him and look back toward the others. Billy invited Manson to go back to his mansion for some Snack Packs and he gratefully agreed, leaving the Grim Reaper and Ozzy in the elevator to continue with their argument.

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