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Roaches on the Moon
“Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.” it is the same thought I have every time I crawl out from under my rock and see that magical green and blue orb floating out in space. I could spend hours just looking at that beautiful planet called Earth.
“Stanley!” snapped my Uncle Matt. “Why are you always looking up at that thing? You need to learn to get your head out of the clouds!”
“But how?” I asked. I’m always confused when he says that. “Clouds are those fluffy things that flow on the surface of Earth. How can I even get my head stuck in them if I’m here on the moon?”
“Never mind,” Uncle Matt said gruffly. “But you are a cockroach, and that means you live on the moon, not Earth!” he yelled. Spitting out the word “Earth” as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. “We were victims when we lived on Earth everyone hated us. They said we were dirty.”
I could see he was about to tell the story of The Great Migration, the story of how our ancestors came to live on the moon. I zoned out and started staring at Earth again while Uncle Matt continued his story about how humans, the dominant species on Earth, treated us like dirt and did all they could to destroy us etcetera, etcetera.
Like all cockroaches I already knew this story by heart; I could have recited it backward in my sleep if asked. I knew about how in the Earth year 1969, the cockroaches from a place called North America planned to escape. They decided that their only chance for survival was to try living on the moon.
Fortunately, the humans had also spent the last year or so planning a trip of their own; they called it Apollo 13. We would simply sneak onto their ship and hang on for the ride. So our ancestors piled as many families as they could into the human’s space ship, and off they went. Things went exactly as planned until the ship got out into space. Some of the young ones got restless after a few days and began playing with some of the human’s equipment. After only five minuets they had managed to cause an explosion that killed all the electricity in the ship. They survived with no injuries, but thanks to them the humans made an emergency landing, and we had to try and get on the next ship headed to the moon.
Conveniently enough the humans had planed Apollo 14 as a trip for the following year. Our ancestors simple followed the plan we had for the last trip. But this time some of the elders kept an eye on the littler ones, and we did not have any explosions. Our ship took off in January of the Earth year 1971 and landed on the moon five days later.
Unfortunately, there was a problem; the humans used big protective suits when they went out on the moon because the moon has no oxygen. Our ancestors sat in the ship for what felt like hours, until one of our brave youth crawled forward and volunteered to try going out on the moon with no equipment. After he had scuttled around out on the moon for a while, the rest of the cockroaches decided to join him.
“...and then they settled down, and have lived on the moon ever since.” My Uncle said rapping up his story.
“Yeah Unc, I know.”
“But,” he added, “there’s more. Your ancestors stole enough equipment from the human’s space ship to create a device that allowed us to monitor the activity of our people still on Earth. And up until recently their activities have been pretty consistent. But over the past month or so the activity level has dropped until four days ago.” He paused dramatically, “Yes, my dear boy, last Tuesday the activity level on Earth has stopped completely.”
“Uhh... “I said cautiously. “But today is Monday Tuesday was like six days ago.”
“Don’t question me!” Uncle Matt shouted, “I know what I’m talking about! What day’s what isn’t important! What matters is that the cockroaches on Earth have been exterminated the humans think they’ve won. But they haven’t! One day we will go back to Earth, and we will destroy them! Yes, we will rule Earth!” At this point my Uncle Matt burst out laughing and started rolling around on the ground.
“But uncle Matt,” I shouted. “what if our machine’s only broken??”
Suddenly He stopped and looked disappointed. “Oh, well that’s always a possibility.” He said sheepishly.” Umm, I think I’ll go and look into that..”
As he wandered off and I returned to my Earth gazing, I wondered if people on Earth had crazy power hungry relations like I did.