May 7, 2009
By Anonymous

Hey Kids!
Are you tired of stick in the mud parents against all fun and freedom? Well we of Dumb Ideas, Inc. have the solution. Get Brainwashed!

Our new Brainwasher offers a variety of services:
You can brain wash yourself so that you cannot do things that aren’t fun.
Mother: Young lady! Go do your homework!
Daughter: Can’t… not… fun.

You can brainwash your parents so they forget anything that isn’t fun.

Son: Mom, don’t I have a dentist appointment?

Mother: What is a dentist?

Or you can brainwasher your brother/sister so they only want to do what you want to do Before the Brainwasher
Older Sister: Do you want to go to the mall?
Younger sister: Eww! I hate shopping!
After the Brainwasher
Older Sister: Do you want to go to the mall?
Younger sister: Sounds… like… fun…

Still not convinced? Well, we interviewed real children, who got the real brainwasher to ask them what they thought.

“Me like Brainwash, it make me cool. Me go now, this not fun, this not fun…..Cool! Atomic Blasters III!” -Johnny

“Hiccup,” –Leah “YeahthebrainwasherisreallycoolwhenIgotitIdidn’twanttogetbutmyfriendstalkedbeintoitnowallIKnowhowtodoisusethremoteandgetonsocialnetworkingsites!”-Katy

We asked the brainwasher creator, Dr. Von Krazeepirsun, to explain the brainwashing process.
“First ve put zis bowl on your head. Zen, ve use zee brain messer-upper to send false signal-thingies to your brain. Zen, I type in zee secret code, push zis button, and zere is a big painful shock zat goes through your little body and zen you are brain vashed.”

Still not sure if the brain washer is right for you? Russia’s political leader Vladimir Putin is reported to have said that brainwashing is the future of this planet. Also, 1/100th of the proceeds go to orphaned marmosets.
Finally, if you make reservations now, we’ll give you the portable mini brainwasher. It does 8/10ths of the features of the real brainwasher and it comes on a keychain!
So call 1-800-dum-bell or go to!

Brainwash by Dumb Ideas, Inc. Forget everything but fun, and how to play the tuba!

Warning: May cause mesothelioma and loss of spleen, do NOT use brainwasher if pregnant, nursing, or may become nursing.

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