Laughing! I’m laughing with my friends. I’m having a good time. I love our conversation: me! My friends and I were talking how I love to dance, run, swim, yell, play soccer, basketball, and do cheerleading and gymnastics. How I have goals to run a triathlon and possibly go to the Olympics.


I was an overachiever, who got all “A’s” and was in all the “smart” classes. Cross country season was about to start and I had a great dance recital coming up. My life may seem perfect, but it is far from it. I’m still overcoming my treacherous past. This is my story!



My friends and I were just entering the seventh grade. I was nervous because my sister said the teachers were really mean. My friends and I got into all sorts of trouble so I knew I’d have fun. There were three of us: McKenzie, Bridget, and Alex. We were all really close and told each other everything. There were two of us in every class; sometimes all three of us. We all had our favorite teachers. Mine was our seventh grade English and reading teacher. McKenzie’s was the MALE counselor. She was the one who was into all of the guys. Bridget’s was well she wasn’t into the whole teacher deal. For all of our schemes it was Bridget who made them up and McKenzie and me who carried them out. I would make them up but my imagination tends to run away with me. In my class I wasn’t the smartest, most flexible, funniest, prettiest (though I was pretty gorgeous), most athletic and so on. I dressed like a prep but wasn’t friends with many of them. I was just any old average teenage girl. (Giggle, giggle) I was anything but average. I had low self- esteem and not a very good relationship with my parents. I told them as little as possible. It is not as though I was doing drugs or alcohol, I wasn’t, it just there were a lot of us and everyone else seemed to be more important than me. I got into so much trouble the counselors even knew me a little too well. They knew McKenzie well too. Bridget never got into much trouble with the counselors. Mrs. Lovestrong, the counselor, knew about my family and me. But the one thing that bugged me the most was my appearance. I badly wanted to get in with the “IN” crowd. I thought I wasn’t pretty enough, didn’t have the right hair style or the right body shape. They were all ultra skinny and I was round. I went on diets to lose weight and exercised a ton. People kept telling me I looked like my mother and she was fluffy as a brand new pillow. I thought my face and height and features came from my father’s side. So the only thing could be the weight. I assumed most of these things. Whatever I did it never made me lose enough weight. I was still plump, out of style, trying to be in.
I had a crazy idea one day. I knew that what I was going to do was dangerous. But I wanted what I couldn’t have so badly that I went with it anyway. I began to starve myself. I knew this wasn’t going to work for very long because I didn’t know what to do about dinner. I came up with a plan. The next day I carried it out. As usual I went to get my tray of food; but instead of eating it I gave it all away. I had skipped breakfast because I didn’t eat it any other day. So I hadn’t had very much. When it came to dinner that night I ate so little it wasn’t even a meal. I hated taking the garbage out but offered to do it. My mother was so surprised, but she was too dumb to think anything of it. After I had thrown the garbage away I stepped behind a tree and stuck my fingers down my throat. It all came up. The next morning all I felt were the stomach pains from not eating. I thought I was sick but then I remembered I had not eaten anything for a day. The longest I have ever been without food. I did this day after day after day. I was in cross country and was having difficulties running. Many of the girls I beat by lengths were beating me by lengths. I realized if I was going to pull this off I would have to get something. So I went to the drug store and bought energy pills, sleeping pills because I could hardly stay awake, and vitamins. My friends were catching on and turned me into Mrs. Lovestrong. I refused to talk to her like I usually did. I lied. I could lie to, manipulate, deceive, cheat, and lure anyone. I could hardly stay awake and my dancing had gotten sloppy. I just wanted to curl up. But guess what, it was working; I was losing the extra weight. Too bad it wasn’t all fat; it was a lot of muscle.
I was weak and one day in practice for cross country the world started spinning, and then before I knew it the pavement was coming toward my face fast and then everything went black. I woke up six days later to white walls and wondered where I was and why I wasn’t in my room. Then I remembered me fainting. A nurse came in, went ballistic to see me, and then left and came back with a massive tray of food. I hardly ate any of it. A doctor came in about twenty minutes later and explained I was dehydrated and could not walk I was so weak. I despised being wheeled around in a wheel chair and ate nothing. They had to tube feed me just to get me to eat. I was in the intensive care unit. I hated it; I knew I was gaining weight and thought all my effort had been a waste of time. Little did I know that I was seventy something pounds and was really sick. When I was let out my parents and teachers watched everything I ate and did. I couldn’t even go into the restroom alone. I was annoyed. Didn’t they know it was a free country? It was an ongoing process. I got better on the outside but in my mind I was just getting worse. I was angry, depressed and wanted to commit suicide. After my favorite teacher mentioned something about the way I was acting to my parents, they got me counseling. I loathed that too. I felt as though I had no control over my life anymore.
In time I got over everything but still deal with low self-esteem. My mother thought it was bad for me to stay in that school even though all my friends were there. So we switched to a nearby school and I’m still getting counseling. I am doing all right. It happens. So as of right now, as I try to overcome my past, I’m laughing. I’m laughing with my friends.