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She stares out the window at the ever steady rain. Sighing she gets up and walks back over to the hospital bed. Six years…She thinks, Six years…please…don’t die on me now. Tears slowly started to form in her bright hazel eyes.
“Excuse me miss, but visiting hours have long been over.” A short, plump nurse, with frizzy blonde hair and a nametag saying Julie, says gently to her.
“Five more minutes…” She lifts her head up to look at the nurse, “Please…” When the nurse nods, she looks again at the one she thought she would live forever with. Carefully, as if he would crumple beneath her gentle touch, she places her hand on his cheek. “We were going to get married, he and I…I spent months fantasizing about it.” She murmurs to no one in particular.
“Miss…” The nurse walks over to her.
“He was so happy…” Her hands clench the bland colored blanket around his dying body. “Today was our six year anniversary of when we first met…he looked so goofy and funny…and…” Her voice cracks as more tears fall down her pale cheeks, she shudders and the nurse gently puts a hand on her shoulder.
“There, there, hunny, I know.”
“I don’t want or need your pity. My Fiancé is dying and all you can say is ‘there there’…why don’t you DO something. SAVE him, instead of comforting me…Why don’t you..” Again her voice cracks, sobbing, she buries her head in his old, faded red and black, high school football letterman’s Jacket. Not knowing what else to say, the nurse leave, as she does she hears the young woman murmur to herself softly, into the jacket.
“I love you, I will always love you…god…I miss you, I wish you were here, to tell me everything to be alright…and to hold me in your arms…” The heart monitor slows gradually, his eyes flutter as it finally stops. She kisses his lips, now growing cold, delicately. Her tears are streaming down her face like a waterfall, her eyes red, mascara running down, making her eyes black. “N…” she chokes and can’t finish. Stroking his hair she whispers, “I love you” in his ear. Kissing him one last time, she walks slowly out of the hospital, her eyes becoming cold...empty…Lost.
I don’t understand life…why such horrible things happen to those who had done nothing wrong…She finds herself thinking of him again, all the wonderful days and nights. How she was going to tell him she was pregnant. He would have been so happy at that. He always wanted to be a father. With one hand she holds the jacket tighter around her shoulders, with the other she places her hand on her stomach, telling the baby how sorry she is, and how she wanted the baby to forgive her. I’m sorry baby…but I just…can’t live my life without him…I already lost him once, I don’t want to ever lose him again.
She continues to walk, even after she is out of the hospital, in the cold dark rain. She turns and walks towards the horns and bright lights of the busy highway.
“I will see you again my love” Her eyes close as she walks in front of an oncoming semi, still clutching his worn out Jacket.
“Kaileen…” She hears the wind whisper as the semi contacts with her body, she smiles, not feeling any pain. Just peace…She embraces it, as he once did with her.