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Lonely Man This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     Middle age, middle-class guy.

Unfashionable bar, uncomfortable bar stool.

That’s me, sitting there. The guy with thick brown hair, kind of handsome in the right light. Yeah, that one there.

You don’t want to be here, believe me. Yeah, it used to be trendy and hip. Not anymore. Over-hype killed the place, I guess. Sure it was fun and chic the first couple of days. But people move on. The world moves on.

You can stay, if just for a minute. It’s really not that bad if you aren’t expecting much. Everything’s better if you just lower your expectations.

Like this friend I used to have. Well, not really a friend. Just a person I used to know. Real pain, actually. Really rich though, a whiz with numbers. Never cared too much for all that algebra stuff myself, you know? Anyways, this friend of mine he was always expecting everything to turn out perfect, like in his equations. He wanted everything very cut’n’ dry. Ended up with no wife, no friends, real lonely fella. Piece of work though, piece of work.

Come on, you haven’t even finished that drink. Stay a bit more. You’re real jumpy like, no? I used to know this fella, worked as a pool hustler. He was always jumping around, twitching and stuff, you know? Kinda weird, I thought. Last time I heard of him, he was in the hospital. Seems someone beat him over the head with a pool club. Real jumpy like I told you.

Don’t worry about the dust, this place is safe. No, you wouldn’t wanna eat here, the food’s filthy. But a drink or two is fine. You won’t get sick or nuthin’. Say, you remind me of my mailman. He was always thinkin’ he was sick. Phony symptoms and all. I used to think he just wanted to skip work. Then one day he up and overdoses on Tylenol. On Tylenol, right? Weird stuff, I tell ya. Weird stuff.

It’s okay with me if you stay. Just stay for a couple of minutes - it’s not the end of the world. What else do you have to do on a Thursday night, visit your grandmother?

Oh, she’s sick? Well, I’m sorry and all. You know, that grandma crack is the first thing that came out. I really didn’t ... okay, yeah, another time then.

Another drink then.

Little guy, lonely man. Empty place, early in the night.

Yep, that would be me. It’s not so bad. Stop by sometime, stay some. We’ll talk.


This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

RelativetoWriting said...
Aug. 30, 2013 at 6:33 pm:
I love your vernacular and repetition, like people actually speak. And the voice-- it's so welcoming. I swear seems to talk right to the readers, offering conversation. I've never read anything like this before!
 
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tuckertwin12 said...
Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:12 am:
That was great. I really felt bad for the guy, but I loved his voice in this story. Awesome!
 
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In_Love_with_WritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:26 pm:
Now this was a good. I loved the feel of the writing style. This is actually one of my fave ways to write, but anyway . . . yeah I loved it :) Can you comment and rate some of my work? Thanks I really appreciate it :)
 
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LastChapter said...
Dec. 13, 2010 at 8:57 pm:
this.was.amazing. truly. great flow and ease of dialogue. i could hear and see everything perfectly.
 
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Rebecca P. said...
Jul. 22, 2009 at 7:24 pm:
Perfect. the feeling that the man is desperate for the reader to stay.
 
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