Fleeting Sanity

March 2, 2018
By Ethan_H BRONZE, Council Bluffs, Iowa
Ethan_H BRONZE, Council Bluffs, Iowa
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

As I sluggishly trudged along down the empty, silent streets of the city, I kept glancing around. My thoughts are still bouncing around my head, despite the failed attempts. I deny to accept what are probably facts though. It’s been seven years, but I deny the supposed facts. I deny that I’m the only man left alive in existence here on Earth. Despite me looking for any signs of life, but not even being able to find animals. Now I find myself on the hunt daily looking for somebody; anybody. The truth is that the loneliness of isolation has started to drive me mad. It’s become difficult to tell whether sounds or voices are actually there or if they are just whispers from my mind. I’ve thought about ending this curse, but I never could bring myself to it. I felt like there might be somebody like me. Searching for anybody else. I would tell myself that if there’s someone out there that I can find, I’d only be hurting them by giving up. They’d live in isolation forever. Or at least until they surrender to it to.

At first I had a purpose. I would check every house and building in hopes of finding someone. But eventually my hopes faltered and I lost some of my purpose. I now wander aimlessly around. I hope to find somebody out there, but with each passing month, week, and day I lose more hope. I find myself often talking to myself, although it takes me a while to realize it. Eventually I’ll lose all of my purpose. I’ll stop trying to search for what might as well be ghost. When that time comes, I’ll embrace it with open arms. So I can stop driving myself more and more insane looking for something that isn’t there.
I commonly think about how maybe I was supposed to be cursed. That maybe I am being punished for something I’ve done and that I am destined to walk the world alone. I look for any signs of the curse and it is both hard and easy. I can’t find any solidifying evidence of the curse, yet I find plenty of evidence of suffering as though a curse is the cause of it. I look around me and wonder why I am left to suffer. Why I am the one who is deserving enough to be isolated from society.
The sun began to set in the horizon, causing the windows of buildings to reflect a gorgeous orange glow back. The silhouettes of buildings made the sunset stand out more. The streets began to darken in the passing by of the sun. My heart always sinks when I see the world continuing on. Continuing as if humans never existed. And I hear a whisper on my shoulder telling me life is worth the fight. And I turn back the direction I came from and saunder off.

The author's comments:

I wrote this story in the thought of the isolation and loneliness a person would feel in a world alone.

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