Knock Knock

January 17, 2018
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I really shouldn't have drawn so much attention to myself. But it was really hard to walk through a crowded college campus during lunch time. My polite screams of, excuse me,  pardon me and move out of my way couldn't get to anyone while they had their headphones in at full blast. I shoved and flailed my arms around to push through the dense crowd. They were in the food zone, as I like to call it, all they could think about was what cruddy cafeteria food they would have next. I guess you would need to fuel yourself after hours of tests and writing essays.
I’m kind of jealous. I wish I could eat things. I mean well, I can but I don’t need to. See, I’m half ghost half human, kind of like a zombie but less gross. I was in a coma for two years and I almost died. Almost. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but maybe it's best that I not know. The Central Undead Agency found me after I woke up with my new ghost powers. They took care of me and trained me to go after corrupt ghosts that wreak havoc in the human world. Which is exactly why I’m here now.
I finally shoved myself through an opening in the crowd and breathed out a heavy sigh. These college kids are crazy when they want food. You would think it's like they have a massive debt hanging over their head and they are trying to make the most of their lives before being thrown out into the real world with nothing but a degree. Weird.
I walk away from the swarm and look around for any signs of a corrupted ghost. It could be anywhere, the CUA didn't give me any leads, they only said it was in this area.
I need to think, if I was an evil ghost, what could I do to make life miserable for college students?
I groaned out loud. We are at a school! That could be literally anything!
I trudged down the paved sidewalk past miserable looking buildings. If I could pick a college, this would not be my first choice. The campus is made of old deteriorating buildings that are placed way too far away from each other. I’d never be able to walk this much for the next four years of my life.
I take a glance around. There were a few kids roaming around the quad, enjoying what little time they had left before they had to go suffer in class again. My eyes stopped at two figures walking on the pavement across from me. It looked like two girls. But what really caught my eye is that they were identical. And I don't mean identical as in regular twin identical. I mean their faces were the same, the way they dressed was the same, the way they walked was the same, and they even both had the same exact blank expression plastered to their faces. They walked very slowly across the quad in their long black dresses. It looked like they just came back from a funeral, or maybe a funeral from The Shining.
Regardless, it was really creepy. I mean come on guys, Halloween is over! You can cut the act. Please.
I quickly averted my eyes before they realized I was staring at them. Although, I’m not even sure they would have noticed. Their eyes looked glossed over as they stared emptily in front of themselves. With how scary they look, they probably don't have many friends. Well, at least they have each other.
As soon as they were out of my line of vision I turned to walk further through campus, but was stopped by a perky looking student.
“Hey, there's a party at the Tri Sig house tonight! You’re invited!” The girl handed me a neon green flyer with an address and time printed on it.
Confused and startled, I took the flyer that was handed to me. “Tri Sig?” I asked.
“Yea! Sigma Sigma Sigma!” She said cheerily.
I tried handing the flier back to her, “Sorry, but I don’t even go here. I’m just passing through.”
She pushed they flyer back towards me. “Nope! No take backs! No returns! Everyone is allowed to go! So I’ll see you tonight!” Her smile seemed to grow larger as she pivoted around me and quickly ran away.
I stared in disbelief at the sprinting girl ahead of me. Did that really just happen? And Sigma Sigma Sigma? What a dumb name.
I glanced at the bright flyer in my hands. A party? Don’t college kids like to go to parties when they are sad and want to forget about their responsibilities? That would be the perfect place for a corrupt spirit to hang out! I clutched the flyer tight in my hand, hopefully this is where the ghost will be. I can’t spend another day at this school.
*    *    *
I walked up to the front porch of the house listed on the flyer. I could already hear the booming sounds of music from inside. I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door to let myself inside. I was instantly greeted by a crowd of people, the smell of smoke, and the sound of someone shouting, my ravioli!
I squeezed my way through the mob and into the main room. There were a lot of kids in here jamming out to the music. I tried to stealthily make my way through without being jabbed in the ribs or smacked in the face, but I was hit at least ten times. I didn't know college students liked to mosh their feelings away.
The smell of smoke was the strongest when I finally reached the kitchen. I looked around and saw something I probably should not be seeing in my young adult life. There was a girl sat on the ground crying overtop of her sad, burnt ravioli. Who could have done such a horrible thing? I glanced over to the doorway where I saw two similar figures standing side by side.
It was the twins! How could they have been invited to this party? Their creepy aura really upsets the mood.
Wait a second.
The twins are the phantom I’m looking for! They must have done this awful deed to the ravioli. Don't worry ravioli girl, I will bring justice to your ravioli. I looked over at the twins again but this time they were gone. I ran through the doorway and around the corner. I frantically scanned the area. To the far left was a flight of stairs, my eyes made their way up and sure enough, the twins were there waiting for me at the top, blank expressions and all. I slid across the hardwood floor and ran up the stairs.
Again, the twins were gone. I slowly crept through the second floor, taking my phantom blade out just in case they decided to jump at me. I opened the door to one room.
“You guys can come out.” I said to the seemingly empty room. “I promise I won't hurt you that bad.”
I stepped further into the room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I knelt down to check under the bed. That’s where I always thought monsters hid when I was little, so I figure one of these days it will happen. I took a peek, but had no luck. I got back up to search some more. I know some kids believed in monsters in the closet, but I always thought it was a bunch of bologna. I mean come on, why would monsters be interested in the clothes you wear? They would obviously want to be in the place closest to you. Which is your bed.
But, for the sake of my job, I’m checking the closet. I go over to open the fancy wooden doors. Yup, just clothes. Happy with my search, I turned around only to be greeted by the twins.
“Oh heck.” I said aloud, knowing very well that this was not going to turn out well.
They shoved me into the closet and locked the doors.
“Hey! Let me out of here!” I shouted. “Don’t go ruining anyone else's party food!”
I heard what sounded like deranged cackling coming from the other side of the door.
“Come on guys, we can all eat burnt ravioli together, I promise I won't stab you or something crazy like that.” I banged on the closet door.
I heard some murmuring, then some footsteps. I must not have been able to convince them. I had to act fast before they left and did something else to some perfectly good ravioli.
I had to pull out the oldest trick in the book.
I knocked politely on the closet door. “Knock knock.” I said in a comical tone.
There were some quick footsteps in my direction and the closet doors opened. I heard a chorus of “Who’s there?” from the twins.
“Ha! Pranked!” I shouted as I jumped out of the closet and stabbed each of them with the phantom blade. I watched as their souls dissipated like ashes into the air, and floated off into the void.
I chuckled to myself. No one can resist a knock knock joke. I put the phantom blade away and left the crazy party house. Another job done, another ravioli saved.

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