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By , lake saint louis, MO

My name is Brent Holmes, but there is something that makes me different than your average person. I have a severe case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, this means I have tons of different personalities and people in my head. It’s very scary at times and very hard to control. I have to meet with my psychiatrist multiple times a week to get this disorder manageable. My psychiatrist's name is Debbie Gallagher she is a women in her thirties that I met at one of these support groups to help cope with many types of disorders. She is tall, beautiful, long blonde hair, with gorgeous blue eyes. But with my disease I can view her from ten different perspectives. Debbie and I with years of meeting multiple times a week, we have diagnosed me with ten different personalities. These personalities vary from adults to kid like personalities. We there is actually eleven if we count my actual identity as one. But with this disorder my full name is only used when one of the other two dominant voices in my head take over my head. The two dominant personalities in my head are Bill and Marissa. These two try making the other eight on their side and take over my head completely when this happens, I do very bad things and have no memory of doing any of it.
“Hello Debbie!” I said with immense enthusiasm. I really needed to talk to her today because I can sense that either Bill or Marissa are trying to take over. I could tell that Debbie knew something was odd.
“How have you been Brent?” She said with a caring tone of voice. I wait a long minute to think of what I was going to tell her. With the other personalities trying to take over it’s hard for me to get my point across to her.
“Uhhhhh, I have seen better days. I don’t know what’s going on with me probably just a lot of stress at home.” I replied quickly. This was a lie I didn’t really have anything that caused me to have stress at home. I quickly realize that they are taking over my body and controlling my every move.
“What’s wrong something seems out of place with you right now, are Bill and Marissa trying to take over?” She said with concern. This is bad Marissa is in control and I can tell, she is telling me to kill debbie and wanting me to cause harm to everyone and anyone I see.
“I NEED HELP DEBBIE IT'S MARISSA!” I said very scared, and worried for her life. “She wants me to kill you!”.
“RYAN BRENT HOLMES”, Debbie shouted, which quickly snapped me out of the state of mind I was in. Saying my full name allows my body to gain control of itself once again. Marissa is an evil woman who wants to harm anything and everything that wants to “hurt her”. Or in other words this would allow her to have control of my body, she is a control freak that needs to have the power of controlling everything she possibly can. After meeting with Debbie I begin my walk back to my house, I live in Northern Wisconsin area, near Egg Harbor. It’s pretty cold for most the year but heats up to the sixties in the summer. My house is nothing special but it does me just right for what I need it to do. I have my own personal gym in my basement, two bedroom with two bath, and a loft area for my enjoyment. I enjoy working out because it allows me to blow off anger because when I get angry the two dominant voices in my head are more likely to take over.
Months have passed bye no issues with my head being taken out of control from either Bill or Marrissa. I believe this is because I workout everyday and meet with Debbie almost every week to talk about how I’m doing. But today seemed different I was in the mindset to kill myself, this is what happens when Bill is trying to take over he wants me to end my life. Scared for my life I begin to sprint over to Debbie’s apartment calling her doing anything I can to get ahold of her. It’s too late Bill took me over, he is gonna make me kill myself. This voice is too much, too powerful. “Smack”.
“Oh my god are you okay!” a bystander asks me. No response I lay in the street bloody and hurt, Bill made me run in front of a bus. As I lay somewhere half unconscious I can here people around me saying my name, touching me, seems as if I’m in an ambulance.
“Uhh where am I?” I asked obviously dazed from what happened earlier.
Someone replies with, “The back of the ambulance Ryan, you jumped in front of the car and you’re seriously injured.”  Once they he told me this, I begin to try and move my legs nothing. I become very scared and then I try moving my arms, nothing, I begin to panic my heart racing. As this happens I become very light headed and begin to steer towards a bright light.
Everything becomes quiet except the long and drawn out beep noise in the ambulance, I died.






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