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The Scorpions

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Sigh.
I walked over to the TV and switched it on. It was another episode of that sickening TV reality show. I pressed the 'off' button on the remote control and lay back, looking blankly at the ceiling. Suddenly, my cell phone rang.  I started digging into the pile of cushions I had made on the sofa and finally fished it out.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey, Clare!”
I instantly recognized my friend Miyu talking, with that vivid way of speaking and the tone of her voice that suggested she had yet another crazy idea.
“What?” I asked, half-curious, half-annoyed.
“Meet me in front of my house, this is important!” She giggled. It couldn't be that important if she was giggling.
I put on my shoes, and without even taking a coat, I rushed outside. Luckily, it was a fine September afternoon and I could feel the sun on my back. 
  When I got to Miyu's house, she was jumping like a four year-old. When she saw me, she exclaimed “Clare, you're late! Oh, but never mind that, we have to go”
“Where to?”
“To the creepy house down on Clover Street.” Miyu looked at me and grinned.
If I were to find my perfect opposite, I have no doubts it would be her. I'm quiet, she's loud. I'm shy, she's bold. But our differences are our strengths.
It was impossible to resist  Miyu, and we both knew it.
“Okay, then,” I managed to say.
   We got to the gate. It was wooden, with missing panels. I stared up at the house. It had dirty windows, and inside everything looked dark, with cobwebs dangling. Eventually, Miyu pushed the gate open. It went banging against the crumbly brick wall and two pieces of wood fell off. We started to walk towards the door.
It had paint peeling off, and it was hanging from its hinges. I stared at it, not wanting to go further.
   Miyu kicked the door so hard it fell off and landed noisily on the wooden floor. She walked in ahead of me as she would walk into her own home. I followed,  slowly tiptoeing over the holes in the floorboards.
   Then I heard screams. I recognized them easily. Miyu! I ran into the room where she was. My friend was staring in horror at a glass tank, containing two large scorpions crawling about.
“C-C-Clare! We have t-t-to leave…” she wailed. Never had I seen Miyu in this state. We started  walking out when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Welcome home, my children,” a female voice said. Miyu looked back and screamed:
“CLARE! RUN!”
We both ran, up the stairs, through the corridor, back down the stairs, into an old kitchen, and landed into a backyard.
We were shaking, trapped in this creepy house. Suddenly, the door opened. The hooded figure advanced towards us. When she was a few feet away, she removed her hood and we both stood there in shock.
   It was my cousin Luna, trying not to laugh.
“Well, looks like I scared you two to death. I'm the best, I've always known it!” she grinned.
“Luna...” I sighed, smiling a little. I looked at Miyu. She had collapsed and was laughing her head off.
“Woah, Luna, I respect you! It was great!” exclaimed Miyu. “I wasn't even scared though,” she lied.
“Liar! But still, I agree, you even got those scorpions!” I said.
Luna stopped laughing for a moment, she looked at us, and turned white. I had never seen her like that.
“Which scorpions?” She asked with a terrified voice.






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VictrixThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 10 at 3:14 pm
I really like the story. The action, while slightly choppy, was very fast-paced, and you packed a lot into such a short story. Very good job!
 
ElisabethGThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 10 at 3:35 pm
Thank you for reading my story and taking the time to comment and give me advice. I will go check out your profile, too ^^
 
SparaxisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 11 at 4:25 pm
Like Victrix, I think it could use a little more detail, but I like it! Especially the twist!
 
ElisabethGThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 25 at 4:34 am
@Sparaxis and @Victrix Thank you so much for your advice! I hope I can imrove.
 
Grandma Olive said...
Mar. 20 at 2:37 pm
Lizzie , it's Olive I live across the road from your Granny and Grandad in Formby . I really , really enjoyed you story , you do have a real talent ! Granny and Grandad speak about you all very often so I look forward to knowing that you have been successful in this project
 
ElisabethGThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 28 at 12:29 pm
Thank you very much for your support!It makes me very happy! :D
 
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