November 17, 2016
By JstAnotherWriter BRONZE, Sydney, Pennsylvania
JstAnotherWriter BRONZE, Sydney, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once"

We ran and ran and ran. We ran until the night air grew icy cold with dark stains of the unknown. We ran until we’d forgotten who or what were behind us. We ran for the sake of feeling earth beneath us and danger out in front.  A forest of emerald greens and dirty browns. Hair swishing to and fro in a sight of serenity. That night was one of the best of our lives.
Wind swept away the dusty lined pages, all the useless knowledge we’d registered over the years, replaced with a gripping thrilling electrifying pulse of liberty. The Premeditated potentials that frightened us. The Faithful vows that loomed above us. The Religious ties that had once bound us. Family squabbles and meaningless bickering’s of the noisy indoors. All vanished into something we had left in the backs of our minds.
No longer did the patterns of material living restrain us. No longer would we live by going through the motions. Day after day. Hand in hand we ran.
We reached a spring stream where wild lilies grew patiently and smooth pebbles sat silent on the sandy floor. The chilly water washed over our backs and delighted the souls of our feet. We cupped it in our hands and splashed it into our youthful faces. Memories twirled to the front of our minds, ones we didn’t know were there.
A young girl looms close to her bedroom door listening through thin walls as the making of her future is pathed in ink and promises.
“She’ll grow to be a successful young women,” the prudent voice says promptly.
A profound voice answers, “I’ve heard it’s one of the finest establishments available.”
“Oh yes, the finest” he replied reassuringly, “she was very lucky to be accepted.”
“Thank God for answering our prayers” a soft voice whispers, like wind chimes echoing in the breeze.
“It’s settled then, just one more page to sign”
Another splash sprung us back to reality. Rising from the stream we focussed on the chiming of bellbirds, relishing in the distance between two lives. Further down the brook wildflowers entwined a small bridge arched over the flowing water, like a seemingly living entity.  Slowly we walked across the sandy earth towards it and never looked back, because now we had everything.
Now we were free.

The author's comments:

I wrote the first paragraph to this story a while back and I just finally got around to finishing it. I'd love any general feedback, I'd really appreciate it. -Thanks, Deborah

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This article has 1 comment.

on Feb. 2 at 3:22 pm
WolfWhisperer0911 PLATINUM, Crosby, Texas
46 articles 0 photos 777 comments

Favorite Quote:
"For I command you, be brave and steadfast! For the Lord your God will be with you whenever you go."
-Joshua 1:9

"Throw me to the wolves, and I'll return leading the pack."- Unknown

"Never moon a werewolf." -Mike Binder

@JstAnotherWriter I have to say, you have a lot of description, and I can see so much potential in this. I recommend making sure that you have a plot twist or emotions of the main character so that we can identify the protagonist. But I love the theme, and I am sure that if you add more flesh into the story, it will publish in the magazine.


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