“Yea, I know I’m late.”

“Why..?”

“You don’t even have to ask, I’ll explain everything.”

“Make it quick.”

“Give me a few minutes.”

“Um...”

“Ok, here’s what happened...”

“So a monster snuck into my room last night. He woke me up at about four in the morning. His name is Jimmy. Jimmy is six feet tall, and really hairy, pink fur, long nails. I think he has poor hygiene, cause he always leaves his stink behind. I wasn’t scared though. It’s kind of normal for him to come into my room. But this time he stole something from me. Guess what he stole.”

“Your dignity?”

“He took my phone! Can you believe it?!”

“n...”

“It made me so mad! He just came in, took it and left. I mean, come on why would he need my phone? So I put on my tennis shoes and jumped out my window. Don’t worry though I’m on the first floor.”

“I wouldn’t care if it was the fourth story...”

“Then I took off after him. He went onto main street and I was right on his trail. He zig zagged onto rose street, jumped over a few fences, walked on some roofs, and ended up in the central park. The whole while I was right behind him! Like, I got a C in my gym class last semester I don’t know how I did that!

“I would have given you an F.”

“So then he tripped over a tree root. I grabbed his foot and told him to give me my phone back. He just grunted and shook off my arm. Then I remember my pepper spray. My mom makes me carry it at all times. As he got up I sprayed him in his four eyes. He moaned and screamed and dropped my cell phone. His miserable yelping attracted some attention from the street, and he didn’t want that. Jimmy took off into the nearby sewer, but I had my cell phone! Then I started walking back to my house. But Jimmy wasn’t the worse that happened to me! Guess what else happened!?”
“You got abducted by aliens an...”
“Yes! I got abducted!! Wow good guess teach!”
“Oh, come on!!”
“What? I saw this flash of green light and I started floating into the air!” But don’t get too excited.”
“I’m not...”
“I can’t really remember anything. Just snippets, like some sort of animal thingy with flippers, and one eye, and shark teeth. It’s ok though, he said his name was something like iiiikkkkoool. I don’t know but he seemed like a cool guy. All he did was give me some sort of brown food that tasted like fish. It made me sleepy, but before I fell asleep I saw a tank full of fish that looked like dogs, and a dog on a leash that looked like a fish. Oh yeah, and I saw his family watching this weird tv. that used holograms, it was kind of like our 3-D but with holograms! Then I fell asleep.
“You expect me to believe this?”
“Well, maybe you don’t but I do. I woke up in my room with a big headache, and my cell phone in my pocket. Then I realized it was 8:30 am. And since I’m such a great student, I came to school immediately without even eating breakfast!”
“Oh, my what a sacrifice on your part!”
“I know right? Well, here I am now and it’s 8:45 am and I know it’s late.”
“Alright, Josh please go to the principal’s office. I suggest you make up a much more convincing story for him.”