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Mythical Creature

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Once I was out in the woods of Oregon. My cousin and I were riding horses. When we heard the bushes rustle. We went and looked to see what was there. When we were walking close to where it was all of the sudden it jumped out at us. Its eyes were yellow, he had hair every where, he was the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Becky ran back to her horse and grabbed the rope to catch the animal. When we finally caught it we named it Chocolate. Becky, Chocolate and I were heading back home. When all of the sudden we saw a big scary monster. We got on the horses as fast as we could. The monster was chasing us chocolate was yelling and screaming and yelling.

The monster had green hair with pink spots every where. It was growling at us his teeth were yellow and had stuff in them. His hands were as big as pumpkins with claws as sharp as knifes. His feet were enormously huge they were twice the size of his hands. When we got to the house we hurry and hid in the basement. The monster couldn't find us. He was searching for at least two hours. After he finally left we hurried upstairs to see if he was gone or not. He was. We hurried and packed up our stuff and left. When we were about fifteen miles away from my house we stopped for a rest.

Chocolate was really thirsty and we forgot to grab him some water. I knew where a pond was so we went there to get a drink. When chocolate saw the water he ran and jumped in. He got Becky and I all wet. Finally we jumped in the water with him. We had so much fun we had water fights and jumped off the rocks into the water. It was much funner than being chased by the Monster. When we got out and dried off we ate some lunch. Chocolate had his all over him. After that we went riding some more.

After we had got to town. We went and asked our mom where Chocolate might have come from. She asked if anything had come and chased us. We told her about the monster that was chasing us. She said that he probably belonged to the monster. She said that we have to find the monster and give Chocolate back to her. So we got back on our horses and rode to where we were when she started chasing us. On our way there Chocolate was really sad. You could tell he didn't want to go back to his mom. When we found his mom we gave him back. The mom didn't attack us after we gave Chocolate back. We told Chocolate that we would go and visit him when ever we could.

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autumntate2015 said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 9:23 pm
There were tons of error in your grammar and punctuation. I pride myself in being grammatically correct, and you should try to do the same. The story really bored me about two sentences into the first paragraph; The story did not flow together very well. Try harder next time. Good luck!
 
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