Magic Man | Teen Ink

Magic Man

January 21, 2012
By JasminStriedinger BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
JasminStriedinger BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
If a writer knows enough about what he is writing about, he may omit things that he knows. The dignity of moving an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water- Ernest Hemmingway


As I walked down the aisle with my little brother's shaky hand in mine, I could not help but analyze every face I saw. There were very few, maybe a little over 10 other people on the plane, counting the pilot. The person to draw the most of my attention was a guy about my age, maybe a few years older. His soft bone structure in his face made him look as if he would never age. His hair, oh his hair, it was gorgeous. Blond, full of life, it shined even more than his gorgeous green eyes. This man looked like he had not a single flaw, but only perfections. At Least that was all I saw.
"Oh! Excuse me miss!" An elder man hollered as his glass fell off of his t.v tray and all over my pants. I screamed at the interruption of my gazing of the magical man, and drew every one's attention towards my wet pants. My face flushed as red as the juice spilt on my pants with humiliation. Of the ten or so people on the plane, my only focus and care was still on the man of my dreams about two aisle's down, staring at me trying to refrain from laughing. I tugged on my little brother and hurried down the aisle, trying my best to stay calm and not make eye contact with the man. As I passed him, I could feel his green eyes scan my wet pants and then beam into the back of my head, as if trying to read what was going through my mind; Him. All that was going through my mind was him. I could not get him out of my head. It was if I had known him all my life, but never knew it and now could not get that face out of my head! I knew I had a bad feeling about this trip, and I was right. I had just experienced thee most embarrassing moment of my entire 18 years of living. The gorgeous man had brought me to heaven, but the humiliation of that old hag brought me back down to h*ll.

About two rows over from the man was an older looking guy, no where near as gorgeous as my eye candy, and obviously balding, the man gave me a strange feeling of insecurity. As if I were to look into his eyes, and he would suck my soul out of my body and into his dark being. The man's face struck fear into my very core, and had me fearing for my life. I only know this man's face, and yet he has brought me to fear for my life! There is definitely something sketchy about this guy, and I sure as h*ll want to know what it is. I, being a very persistent brown noser, will figure out what this man is about, and why he strike's such fear into me with such a simple look. Before the plane had even started I had already experienced the most humiliating moment of my life, loved a man who's face I only knew, and feared a man's who's face I only knew. I could already tell, this was going to be an eventful plane ride.

My brother's nerves had passed through him like this morning's pancakes. He was fast asleep on my shoulder, which was now covered in his drool. I softly picked up his head and rested it against the window as I got up to use the bathroom. My mind was empty at the moment, but man was my bladder full. As I walked up the aisle towards the front of the plane to use the bathroom, I saw the two men again. This time they were talking. Well I mean, we have been on this plane for a few hours, it's almost impossible not to talk to the person who has been sitting next to you for about 2 hours. Most men have serious looks on their face when they talk, but the men's faces were very hostile, yet very secretive. Like when you watch those movies when the hoodlums are making a drug deal, and they have that look on their face like there's nothing going on through their head, but they're real serious about it. I caught myself gazing at the gorgeous male again, and quickly broke my gaze and shuffled on into the bathroom. Man do airplane's have nice bathrooms these days. It's pretty roomy in here, I would so much rather be hanging out in here for a few hours then out there with my brother drooling on my arm and some little brat behind me sicking my seat, and possibly sticking gum in my hair. Maybe the beautiful man could even just pop in here, and stay with me for the ride. We would talk, get to know each other, maybe interact with a little PDA. I would stare into his green eyes while he tells me about his trips around the world, his shiny candy apple red sports car he just had shipped from Italy. Oh man! I caught myself, once again, daydreaming about this magic man, but this time I was not standing 10 ft. From him, no, I was sitting on a cold airplane toilet! I have definitely just sank to an all new low, this is just embarrassing. I got up and washed my hands, wiped the drool off of my shoulder, and fixed my hair to look at least somewhat decent. As I was finishing my hair, the plane made a loud popping noise, and then the bathroom started shaking. I fell onto the ground and hit my head on the sink. Dazed and confused I stood up, and as I stood up the bathroom door swung open and smacked me right between my eyes.
"Jasmin!! We're going to crash!" My brother came sprinting towards me and full force jumped onto my already beaten up body.
"Josh, what is going on?" I asked him as I sat up.
"A man stood up with a gun and told dad to go into that one place where the airplane driver is at, and said to shoot him or he would kill everyone!" Now my dad is not the best with these kind of situations. His anxiety gets the best of him every time and he always freezes up. This could not end well

I sat there for a moment, as everything faded into just a background noise. My day played back through my head, and I saw something I did not see before. When I was standing on the plane right in front of the bathroom. Not even more than ten minutes ago, staring at the magic man, I missed something as I turned away. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw him get handed something from the evil man, the man now sending my dad into the cockpit to shoot probably the only man who could guide this plane down safely. Now we are all going to die, all because of that man. I knew there was something off about him! It gets worse though, not only is that man going to be the cause of all these people's death's, my magic man is also in on it! D*MMIT! This day just keeps getting worse and worse. I cannot go out there though, I would get shot! My brother would be the idiotic impulsive little kid he is and follow me, and he would also get shot! There is no answer to this problem, I guess we are just going to have to sit in here and wait it out.
"Now Josh, I know you are scared, but we are not going to crash. Want to know why?" I asked him in the most reassuring voice I could possibly get out at the time.
"Wh-wh-why?" He replied through his montage of sobbing.
"Because he are going to pray, and ask God to help us. You know God is greater than any scary man with a stupid little gun, now don't you? So don't sell him or yourself short and pray Josh. Ask him right now to save you, and he will." I told him as I grabbed both his hands and began to pray. We were int there praying for a good fifteen minutes before we heard anything but the frantic screaming of the other passengers. A few gun shot's went off outside of the bathroom, and caused my brother to get up and run out there yelling for our dad.
"DAD!? Daddy!" He screamed as he ran out the bathroom.
"Josh no!" I got up and started running after him. I was not even out of the bathroom when I heard another gun shot. I fell to the ground as my heart dropped into my feet. My stomach felt as if it had flipped completely upside down, and the feeling of nausea overwhelmed my entire body. I couldn't even open my eyes to see if it was my little brother or not. I felt myself drifting off as a little hand tugged my shirt trying to pull me off the ground.
"Jasmin! Jasmin are you okay??" I looked up to see my perfectly fine little brother. I grabbed him, examining his entire body. After knowing he was not shot, I felt the biggest rush of relief I had ever felt in my life. I hugged him so tightly I could have broken his ribs.
"Joshua, don't you EVER do that again!" I yelled at him though my tears. He shook his head and said,
"I know your mad at me, but this guy wants to talk to you." He pointed up at my magic man, standing right above me holding two backpacks in his hands.
"Come with me, I think I have the solution to your problem." The magic man said to me. His voice hit my ears and melted my heart. This is the guy who I need to follow. This is the man that will save our lives.

The author's comments:
We are writing a seven page short story for our honors english finals, this is the start of mine.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Jun. 11 2013 at 11:42 pm
JasminStriedinger BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
If a writer knows enough about what he is writing about, he may omit things that he knows. The dignity of moving an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water- Ernest Hemmingway

Thank you for your feedback on my piece Magic Man! I appreciate your criticism, it helps me alot please keep it coming!

Mathias said...
on Feb. 25 2012 at 9:51 am
Mathias, Evansville, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All great things are worth waiting for"

Very interesting. I'd hope that you would explain more about what is going on in another chapter, because the story leaves you hanging.

There are a few repeated words and phrases that interupt the flow of the story, and some of the descriptions don't really fit into the flow either.

Otherwise I think it is a very interesting concept for a story and I liked it.