Tobi and the Quest for the Magic McGuffin, Scene 1

February 17, 2012
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Characters
4 M, 3 F, 5+ M/F
Narrator- M/F
Tobi- M
Echo- F
Fighter McWarrior- M
Sue Spicious- F
Barkeep Kemist/ Al Kemist- M
Tim Evilwizardington- M
Lily Evans- F
Backstage Members 1 & 2- M/F, M/F
Remaining Backstage Members- M/F
Society of Angsty Teenagers- M/F (Anyone not in the previous changing scene)

[Scene 1, Grassy Hill] (A green carpet, possibly some green wallpaper, and a cardboard tree)
(Enter Tobi stage right, sits down against tree and begins to read to himself)
Narrator: Once upon a time, in a world not unlike our own, there lived a boy named Tobi. He wasn’t very popular. Or smart, or strong, or-
Tobi: (Spoken in bored tone) Shut up already.
Narrator: Excuse me, which one of us is telling the story?
(Short pause)
Narrator: That’s what I thought. Now where was I? Oh yes, I was telling the audience about what a loser you are. (Clears throat). Tobi didn’t have anything he was good at, so he decided to be a lame Gothy dude. Being all dark and scary and stuff kept people from robbing him blind, so I guess it worked out for the best.
(While all of this is being said, Tobi looks extremely bored, sighing and picking at the grass. He turns his head upward as the Narrator finishes his line.)
Tobi: Oh, I’m the loser am I? I have one more friend than you do. Isn’t that right Ekko?
Echo: …friend…that right…
Tobi: See? Ekko’s my friend too, and he always says nice stuff, unlike you.
Narrator: Hey, I’m sorry. I’m just reading the script they gave me. You actually seem like a nice enough guy. So can we stay friends, please?
(Tobi shrugs)
Tobi: Ah, sure, why not? I don’t even see why I bother though, seeing as you don’t exist.
(Narrator sighs dramatically)
Narrator: This again? How many times must we be through this? I. Do. Exist.
Tobi: I don’t believe you. Do you have any proof that you exist?
Narrator: I’m talking to you right now! Isn’t that enough to prove to you that I exist?!
(Tobi thinks this over in a very vocal manner. Quite a few hmmm’s and ummm’s ensue in this short amount of time)
Tobi: Nope. I could just be cuckoo. You’re going to need more evidence than just plain hard facts to make me think that you exist.
Narrator: I give up. Let’s just change scenes for the big villain arrival.
Tobi: Oh alright. But later on I’m going to prove to you that you don’t really exist.
(Tobi begins to move things around on stage for the next scene, along with others backstage people. One of the backstage members stops Tobi.)
Backstage Member #1: Hey, what’re you doing? We have to close the curtain to change to the next scene.
Tobi: Why? The audience already knows that we know about them. That would just be wasted effort.
Backstage Member #1: What about the fourth wall, man?! Are we just gonna break it like that other play?
(Tobi walks forward and waves arms past the edge of the platform)
Tobi: What fourth wall? This is nothing like that other play- which we shall not name.
Backstage Member #2: Which one? A Night’s Ta-
(Tobi theatrically punches Backstage Member #2, who falls over)
Tobi: No. Just NO. You all got it? (Points menacingly towards other backstage members)
(Other backstage members nod nervously)
Tobi: Good. Now let’s just set up for the next scene, and never mention that other play again.
(All nod as they continue to change for next scene.)





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