Truths Unknown

January 15, 2012
By alex_gold SILVER, Southlake, Texas
alex_gold SILVER, Southlake, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
'You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair - the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page.'

Stephen King


My name is Angelina Cox, and if you are reading this, I am so very sorry. This is something that I have hoped that no one would ever come by. I don’t have a lot of time to explain, so let me give you the general idea of what is going on. If you look around you right now, everything is probably in ruin. There are probably many enemies closing in as well. The reason why all of this is happening is because of what my friends and I did. I suppose I should explain what happened.
A couple of months ago, I was still living in The Facility; the only place left on this rotting planet with a sense of order and community. It was my home for a very long time, and I loved it. That all changed when I found out that The Facility had secrets- dark ones. I told anyone who would listen. The Facility was corrupt. People would tell me to stop spreading rumors; such stories would get me into trouble. The only problem was that they weren’t stories- they were the truth.
I have been taught, ever since I was a little girl, that lies would make you crash and burn and the truth would help you soar. You might be familiar with the little rhyme, “Oh, what tangled webs we weave when at first we practice to deceive”. That is a major clue that will help you restore the peace to our lives, but unfortunately it is one of very few. I would tell you the nitty-gritty details but it is too late, everything is burning, my supplies are low.
What you really need to know is that The Facility is now panicked. They think that with their positions’ as rulers at stake, killing all those who believe me will solve the problem. If you choose to follow through with the quest that I am about to give you, then know that you now have a target on your head.
There is a leather-bound book with a brown string tie that is hidden at a location that The Facility does not know about. That book is my diary and within it are my recordings of the days when I found out about The Facility and what I tried to do about it. Read through it; try to find anything that can get us one step closer to bringing them down.
Pay close attention when you are scouring the pages for information, for within that book I wrote down another location that will lead you to your final clue. From there, you will know where to find me. We will work together; two heads are better than one.


Good luck, Stranger. And watch your back.


The author's comments:
I need some advice. The people who have already read this (before posting) said that this is either a good novel intro or video game intro. I am TORN! Help???

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This article has 7 comments.


on Nov. 26 2012 at 5:44 pm
futurenovelista SILVER, Staatsburg, New York
8 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But I being poor have only my dreams...I place my dreams at your feet. Tread softly for you tread on my dreams." -Yeats

It's a good idea for a story, and with a little work, I could see it being something big! Keep at it!

ShadowRealms said...
on Apr. 26 2012 at 11:12 am
I liked it, but it did not flow. It is a good CONCEPT for a story, but I can't see it being one unless you make it flow better. The sentences seemed strung together and the narrator kept repeating things. She didn't seem very serious, or gloom-and-doom. I hope that helps:) and it will be good once those few errors are fixed. But I am a bit confused as to what happened. Is this a post-apocolypse? Why is the world in ruin?

-Kal- GOLD said...
on Jan. 21 2012 at 4:24 pm
-Kal- GOLD, Carthage, North Carolina
14 articles 0 photos 244 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and recieves the impossible"
-Anonymous

Kinda reminds me of a series by Rick Riordan. If you haven't read it, that is a compliment. If you have, be careful. Lol

on Jan. 21 2012 at 3:02 pm
alex_gold SILVER, Southlake, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
'You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair - the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page.'

Stephen King

ok thanks, i will take that under advisement for the next time that i am writing. :)

on Jan. 21 2012 at 2:57 pm
recurring_resilience SILVER, Ashburn, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"These are the times that try men's souls." - Thomas Paine.

"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." - On the Water Front

"This is my place of failure."

In my honest opinion, you have a good concept for a story but the narration isn't believable. Some of the sentence cause issues with the flow and the narrator comes across as a bit kiddish and not very grave...

on Jan. 21 2012 at 2:46 pm
alex_gold SILVER, Southlake, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
'You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair - the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page.'

Stephen King

Thanks! Alright!

on Jan. 21 2012 at 2:44 pm
Rainbeauxs SILVER, Bridgetown, Other
7 articles 3 photos 42 comments
I really liked it ! Good job!xD.Keep me posted when you finish whatever you're writing okay?(;


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