Jetta drift

January 12, 2012
Around two weeks ago, we had our first snow of the school year. And what a snow day it was! We had around 6 inches over night! For those of you that don’t know, that’s half a foot! I’ve been waiting for a very long time to be able to drive my Jetta in the snow. I’ve never driven the Jetta in snow before, so I wanted to make sure it handled ok. So I took it out for a test drive (drifting style) around the neighborhood. I almost hit 3 cars, so I had a sinking feeling that I might crash, even though it has AWD (all wheel drive) and studded tires. So I thought to myself, “I’ll go get Nathan and Austin!”
My first stop was Nathan’s house. He was probably excited that I showed up, because all he’d been doing all day long was playing X-box by himself, what an awesome kid! As I made my way up to the Nooksack Elementary School, I tried calling Austin just to make sure it was ok for him to go. Luckily he answered, and his dad must have been in a good mood because he let him go. I’m sure Austin was just home alone and left. I arrived at the school in oodles of style. Had the windows down, heater blasting, stereo bumping! Too bad the speakers are blown, when the bass is turned up, it sounds like Nathan farting. I expected my entrance to be twice as awesome, though. And I would’ve gotten away with it too! If it weren’t for these meddling kids! And their dog too! They were sledding in the middle of the school entrance. And this was on flat ground, not moving at all. Basically, they were just sitting on the sleds. Probably thinking to themselves, “IM CRASHING!!!!!”
Finally, when those kids finished, “Crashing” they moved to the side of the road and let me through. I quickly drifted the first corner, into a 180! That parking lot was pure goodness. As I admire the aroma of the winter breeze, and the eight air fresheners in the van, yes, EIGHT air fresheners! I noticed the other car doing semi burn outs, flying down the parking lot at 5 miles an hour! I was kind of curious to see who it was, so I decided to draw some attention towards myself. I did the most perfect drift I’ve ever done! I don’t even know how to explain it, so I won’t. But right then, Austin showed up! The mystery driver stopped to watch Austin’s amazing entrance. And what an entrance it was! He drifted right into a blown head gasket! And his muffler fell off. “GO AUSTIN! HAHA!” Nathan and I were cracking up. “Well it looks like he’s riding with us now.” I said.
Austin was now chillin’ in the very back of my Jetta, right where he belongs. So I continued to drift around, watching the mystery driver suck at driving. “That’s it!” I said. I had to find out who it was. As I pulled up to the back of whatever kind of car they were driving, he stepped out of the vehicle! There he was, Blake Hammond. “HAHAHAHA” we all started laughing. It was hilarious. Then Keith traded places with him and drove away. About five to ten seconds later, I had to pee like non-other. I didn’t want anyone to see me drain myself, so I walked to the middle of the parking lot and started to pee! Try not to get too excited. It was pretty nippy outside, especially with my pants down. As I made my way back to the Multi Purposed Vehicle, my eyes allowed me to see a little kitty cat at the front doors of the school. It was just sitting there staring at the Jetta. I just wanted to run over the little thing! And that’s when it happened, that’s when I fell in love with Mr. Kitty!
The cat (I just named it Leonard) leaped over the stairs like a monkey ninja! It flew past me and the van at extreme speed! “Dudes, check this out!” I said. Leonard ran right into the center of the lot and drifted! I think it might have been an accident, but it was still awesome! It slipped and did a 180 on its tummy! I was like, “OH EM GEE!” That was pretty intense, and it totally made my day. Leonard the drifting cat disappeared into the trees. Never to be seen again. I sat back in the jetta and decided that I was super hungry and that I wanted to go home. From then on, everything was pretty lame.
Never to forget Leonard, the drifting cat. Hope he didn’t die.

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