Hopelessly Lost and Sinking Quick!

November 18, 2011
So there I was, sitting in my car, which was half jutting out of the pond and half submerged in
who knows what kind awful looking of goop.
I should have never obeyed it, the crazy gadget. First, it had told me to go left at the fork in the road. Well, there never was a fork in the road. Matter of fact, there wasn’t a piece of metal anywhere, not even a spoon, much less a fork! Well, I got lost, but that wasn’t the first time this had happened!
You see, my parents had bought me a GPS for Christmas. I was so excited, because I was terrible at following directions. I could get lost anywhere! Once I’d even gotten lost walking across the street to visit a friend!
Well, anyway, I received the GPS and immediately began to pour over the instruction manual. That thing was amazing! It could tell you how to get anywhere in the entire world!
My first chance to try out my new gadget was when I went to visit my cousin, Lizzy, in Des Moines, Iowa. I was excited, and not a little bit scared. Iowa was a long way away!
Well, the trip went well until I reached the boarder of Alabama, fifteen minutes after starting out from my house. “Stay right, then bear left on I-75 North.” I obediently obeyed the GPS stayed right. Then I turned right. (I didn’t want to run into a bear!) No sooner had I turned right, then I ran into a dead end.
Now what should I do? I turned around and went back to where I had turned off. I couldn’t go left, or could I? Perhaps I could sneak past the bear. I wondered if the bear was a grizzly or a black bear. I looked at my GPS, but it still only said, “Bear Left.”
Well, I decided to try it, and, strangely enough, there was no bear!
My trip continued on, but then trouble struck again. I was just passing a farm when the GPS said, “Herd of Cows in road.”
“Of course I’ve heard of cows. And yes I have herd of cows in the road!” I replied, and then realized that it was just a machine.
“Steer straight ahead.” said the GPS.
What a machine! I was steering straight ahead, because that was the only way the road went! I made a mental note to tell the makers of the GPS that it had some minor— no major—problems. Suddenly, I heard a low “Moo” in my ear! I jerked my head to the side and came face to face with a large steer. “Steer in sight. Push horn.” said the GPS.
Immediately I leaned out the window and pushed the cow’s horn.
“Moo!”
I got the point, and pushed down on the gas.
Everything seemed to be going fine at last, but then, “Turn right at cross road.”
“Huh?” I said, “I didn’t know there were cross roads, yet alone happy roads!” Well, I looked and I looked, but I never did find a cross road, but I did get lost, again!
I was by this time very angry. I decided I wouldn’t listen to my GPS another minute. Soon, though, I realized that I was hopelessly lost. I was about to blow up, but my tire beat me to it.
“Great!” I yelled. I leaped out of my car and flung open the trunk. “No!” I screamed. My spare was gone.
“Tire flat. Find a Jack.”
That crazy GPS! How was I going to find a Jack or a John or a Jill, or any other person for that matter, out here in the middle of nowhere? I was just about to start walking to who knows where, when a lone truck drove up. A young man jumped out, and walked over toward me.
“Hello, you look like you need help.”
“I sure do. Is your name Jack?”
“No, it’s John, but you can call me Jack if you want to. It looks like you need a tow”
“No thanks, I have all the toes I need, but I do have a flat tire, and I don’t have my spare with me. Do you by any chance have one with you?”
“Sure, do you know how to change tires?”
“No.”
“Okay, then I’ll lend you a hand!”
“No thanks, I already have two hands, but I could use a little help.”
“Sure, sure, I’ll go get the tire.”
In a matter of minutes, I was once again on the open road, and I had decided to use the GPS again.
“Turn left.”
“Right,” I said, but then I confused myself. “Did the GPS say right or left? I think left is right, but what if left is wrong and right is right?” I quickly made a decision, and turned right, directly into a pond!
So that’s where I found myself, in the back end of my car, trying to keep my legs out of the murky water coming in slowly through the cracks under the front doors. I was just about to try to open the back door, when I heard a voice, “Jacob, wake up, hurry! We have to leave for your orthodontist appointment in half an hour!”
Huh, what orthodontist appointment? I was in a pond, and…wait a minute. I was in my bed! But how, where, what? Where was my messed up GPS? Where was the flat tire that I had sat on the passenger seat? Then I realized, it had all been a dream.
I turned my head to the right, towards the “passenger seat”, and saw, to my surprise, my deflated inner tube, lying in a haphazard circle on my pillow! Then I realized that I was clutching something in my hands: my other pillow, crunched up into a tight ball. My steering wheel! I laughed aloud.
Then I paused. But what about the pond? What was that in my dream? Then I gasped, my pillow was soaking wet! Surely, no, it couldn’t be… then I glimpsed a movement under my bed. I looked down. It was my little brother, Davy. “Davy!” I exclaimed, “What are you doing…” He started to laugh.
“I really got you! You were in your bed tearing apart a piece of paper, and…”
“Huh, piece of paper? Oh, wait a minute, the GPS, I must have been opening the package, but, tearing a...”
“Yeah, and then, to try to stop you, I threw a cup of water on you!”
“You wha…the pond!”
“The what?”
“Oh, never mind!” I laughed.

“Coming, Mom!” I yelled, jumping onto the floor. I had an orthodontist appointment, and I didn’t want to get lost!
As I got dressed, I laughed again. I couldn’t help it. What an adventure! I couldn’t wait until tonight. I wondered where I would go. Maybe Mars, or the North Pole, or…





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