A Turn for the Worst

November 1, 2011
As the first rays of sunlight seeped through her skin, Patty opened her eyes and peered around in awe. She knew it was finally Autumn. It was just like the Autumn her elders had long told her stories about over the past year, but to see it for real patched up the hole that was growing inside her as each month passed by. She glanced up to see the trees with their vibrantly colored leaves whisking in the wind, just like her uncle had described only days before. Patty smelled the sweet scent of cider that she had heard about but never got to smell. This place was nothing like the dilapidated farm she was raised at. This place was heaven. She was startled when she saw her first human, a tiny, licentious figure rudely running around in the grass pointing and yelling at Patty’s comrades. Patty struggled to remain unperturbed as she took in this new world. She wondered why there were leaves on the ground and on the trees, why the leaves were not all green, why so many children were running about and yelling, why they picked up her new friends and stole them? It was at that moment when Patty discovered where she actually was. “It cannot be,” Patty thought, “Mom and Dad always told me I would never be chosen to be brought here, that I was not petite enough or shiny enough!” But, this was real. Until now it seemed like a dream, made more and more distant as she accepted the inculcation that the pumpkin patch was as unreal as a scarecrow. Patty the pumpkin was a part of the pumpkin patch, and it was time for her to prove her parents wrong and show them that there is someone out there who wants to take her home.

After several more moments of observing the actions of those around her and putting the pieces together, Patty sets her goal of going home with a child before Halloween. From what her brothers and sisters have told her, the chances of being chosen from such a prodigious amount of pumpkins diminish as Halloween day gets closer. She never knew what would happen if she was not chosen, and she did not want to find out.

Patty spent the next few days putting her best smile on, making sure her body and stem looked as toned as ever. One evening, when the pumpkin patch owners were out to dinner, Patty made her way to their newly renovated farmhouse which had a treadmill and weights. She wanted to maintain that slim-at-the-top, plump-at-the-bottom figure, and she hoped sweating some seeds on the treadmill and several stem-lifts with the dumbbells would help. Even after all her hard work, Patty found herself being overlooked by every child that scampered in her direction. “I am sure my muscles are just too big for them,” Patty concluded. She did not understand what she could have been doing wrong. Her family back home never talked about the best way to get noticed, and Patty felt that this was a detriment to her. She began checking out all of the pumpkins surrounding her, noticing their immaculate luster and smooth skin. She begrudged each pumpkin that was chosen before she was. With each day, less and less pumpkins were left in the patch, and Patty wondered if there was a way she could get her skin to be shinier. That night, Patty snuck into the farmhouse again, went to the owners’ room, and applied a generous layer of some pumpkin-scented hand lotion from Bath and Body Works. “If this does not attract these kids, I do not know what will,” she thought. Patty felt confident that her guile would soon benefit her, and with one day until Halloween, she better hope it does.

Today was the day. Halloween. This was her last chance to prove to her doubtful family that she was pretty enough to be chosen from the patch. Patty was anxious as ever, and she felt her seeds fluttering around inside her. Sometimes, Patty would see a larger human holding the hands of the children, and she concluded these giant humans must be their owners. She hoped that one of these “giants”, Patty’s new name for them, would appreciate Patty’s new look and convince the children to choose her. Fortunately, the first chance she had to impress a giant came sooner than Patty expected.
The sun began to go down, and the children quickly chose their pumpkins and ran over to their giants. It was no surprise that they did not choose Patty. Poor Patty the pumpkin was losing hope, and she knew her future would not be bright if she was not chosen within the next few minutes. For all she knew, the patch may already be closed. After only several minutes, a giant emerged from the path connecting the parking lot to the pumpkin patch. Patty glanced over to the farmhouse, checking to see if one of the owners was aware of this human coming to the patch after-hours. Patty had an uneasy feeling about this giant, and she discovered that this female was not a giant because she had no child with her. “How peculiar…” Patty wondered. With trepidation, Patty watched this stranger with a face of an unusual pallor approach her. Patty did not know whether to be excited or intimidated. Once again, Patty was able to stay composed and allow this human to make a decision. Patty struggled to contain her excitement and hold back her squeals as she was lifted off the ground by this strange human. She knew someone would eventually appreciate her. She knew she still had a chance. She knew all her hard work had paid off.

What she did not know was why this person was unaccounted for by the farm owners. Why did they not see this person snooping around in their patch? Why did they not care that someone is stealing one of their pumpkins? These thoughts went in one end of her stem and out the other. She did not care that this human was stealing her from the patch. She did not care that this person was strange-looking and seemed very sick. She did not care that the human did not come with a child during the day. She did not care that this person has a knife poking its head out of her back pocket, looking for its next object to puncture. She did not care.

Patty arrived at her new home, and was oblivious to the outside world until she felt a hard tug on her stem. Patty exclaims, “Hey, I worked hard to get that so slender! Be careful!!” The human paid no attention to Patty’s pleas as she carried her into her creepy house and put her down on a table. Something was different about this table, though. It had no tablecloth, Halloween decorations, utensils, or bowls filled with goodies, which she had imagined. Instead, the table was cold silver that was bothering Patty’s gluteus maximus which she had tried so hard to shape perfectly.

Without giving Patty time to react, the human materialized in the doorway and charged at Patty with her knife, yelling as she sharp point of the knife pierced the highly moisturized skin of Patty the pumpkin. Patty the pumpkin had no time to scream, no time to call for help, no time to even think about what was going to happen. The damage was done. Patty the pumpkin could have gone back home and shown her family that it was possible to get chosen and tell them stories of her experiences at the patch. But no, Patty the pumpkin did not have that chance. She was stabbed multiple times and holes were made where her lovely eyes used to be. Patty the pumpkin was no longer a pumpkin. Now, she is Patty the Jack-O-Lantern.

Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

Site Feedback