June 25, 2011

The man stealthily lurked through the darkness waiting for someone to catch him. Nobody came out of the lurking darkness that stood behind him. He turned back quickly one more time and then turned back to what he was doing.

He walked over to a tall sharp fence and climbed over it snagging part of his black coat going over, ripping it.

He grumbled once he got over lifting up the ripped side.

“I’ll fix it later!” he mumbled gruffly as he started walking toward a huge looming building.

“He’s coming! hurry! In your positions!” said a big armed guard looking from a tall look out tower.

Down below was a dark figure of a man walking towards the guard tower.

The man looked up at all the armed guards and froze.

“Crap!” he said under his breath looking down from the light that was casted on him.

“Well, well, long time no see ah?” said a man in a red uniform with so many medals on the suit you could definitely tell that he was in charge.

“You, have been causing trouble, all around the country side. Stealing, and causing a ruckus among the people of the towns.” the red suited man continued, staring straight in the masked mans black eyes.

He then looked down at the coat. “It seems like you have been causing even more of a ruckus as well. Where do you think your going?” asked the red suit man fingering the tared fabric of the coat.

The man in the mask didn’t answer.

“Hmmm, you want to be difficult ah?” asked the man taking out a silver pistol.

“Well then, I will too.” the red suit man holding the pistol over the masked mans heart.

“It seems like you have earned yourself a new name through theses past weeks. People now call you NightStalker.” the red suit man continued slyly.

“Did you, know about this?” asked the red suit man.

The masked man gripped the gun in his left hand hard.

It appeared that the suited man noticed because then he said: “Ah, it seems you don’t like this name? You don’t, do you?” asked the suited man peering at the masked man closely.

Then speaking for the first time, the masked man spoke in a deep rich voice, “Why, why would I like this name? It is a name of a monster. Not a human being.”

“Well, you’re not, How do I put it nicely, not a human being. I mean come on, the way you climb so gracefully, the way you can get around an enemy so quietly, or how you can shoot twenty men with only one bullet.” the suited man said holding one finger and continuing. “This, is not normal.” the suited man shook his finger at him.

“How, how do you do it?” the suited man asked him.

The masked man responded, “Practice.” he said simply.

“How could you say that? just practice? I don’t think so! So tell me, how is this possible? Are you an alien? Did you fall in some toxic waste? What?!” demanded the red suited man.

“Toxic waste? Do you really think I'm some super hero?” asked the masked man in disbelief.

“Well then how is the things you do possible?” he asked.

“I have my ways” said the dressed in black masked man said mysteriously.

The red suited man started to pace around in circle still keeping the gun poised at the masked mans heart.

“Well,since it seems like you won’t give give me answers, I guess I will have to shoot the answer out of you!” the red suited man said.

He then pointed the gun at the masked man and locked the gun aiming at his chest.

“Tell me, or I will shoot you” demanded the suited man.

“No” the masked man said firmly.

“Well then, I’m sorry to say that you will be in a hospital bed for quiet some time” said the red suited man ready to pull back the trigger.

Then the man in the mask kicked the gun out of his hand knocking it all the way to a flimsy willow tree to the left.

The masked man took out his black shiny gun gracefully and pointed it at the suited mans heart.

“Well now, we don’t have to be harsh on this matter, put the gun down” the suited man motioned to put the gun on the grassy floor.

“says the man who was about ready to shoot me!” laughed the masked man not putting the gun down but putting the gun closer to the mans heart.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to shoot you” the masked man said, the suited man sighing with relief. “I’m just going to give you a little reminder that you can’t beat me that easily!” and with that the masked man shot his foot.

Join the Discussion

This article has 84 comments. Post your own now!

writer015 said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 6:49 pm
I liked this! Not bad at all! The only thing I would change would be to add more detale. This certainly made me want to know whats gonna happen. =)
Keep writing! =)
writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 8:03 pm
thanks! and thanks for reading! :)
writer015 replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Your welcome! It was a very fun read! =)
writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 6:55 am
thanks! :) I will post more!
SaritaFajita said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 10:24 am

Pretty good! :) The dialouge wasnt too long so it didnt make the story boring.

[P.S. Could you please check out some of my work? Just click my username and you should see my poem and fiction short-story. Rate and comment and that would be great! Thanks so much!!]

- Write On! (:

writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 11:59 am
Yeah! I will check your work out! and i couldnt have said it better myself! write on!:)(:
writerfreak21231 said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 8:31 am
I just posted another story called Disappeared it is the first part. Go check it out! :)(:
writerfreak21231 said...
Jul. 19, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Oh, and i also posted a novel called the beast if u are interested in action adventure. Its in that section, but it is kind-of a thrill. Enjoy! :)(:
writerfreak21231 said...
Jul. 18, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Guess WHAT!!! I just posted the next chapter for nightstalker! Go check it out if u like the first part! Enjoy!
KatAnne said...
Jul. 18, 2011 at 2:19 pm
You used some words to frequently such as over and looming.  You say "looming building," instead of stating that it's a "looming building" show us.  Tell the reader that there are few windows, the building itself looks black in the night, what light does peak through the curtained windows, it eerily leaks out onto the ground and plays tricks on the eyes of the protagonist.  Stuff like that, but other than those few things that I pointed out you have a good foundation for a great s... (more »)
writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm
thanks for the helpful critzsum! And thanks for reading! :)
apage94 said...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 5:02 pm
okay, so you repeat words a lot. like, in the first paragraph, you say turned, darkness, and lurked each twice. but, that aside, i already really like the story line you're setting up just by reading the prologue itself! (: spot on.
writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Thanks! for the feed back and the positive comment! I enjoy listening! and I will try not to repeat myself!
writerfreak21231 said...
Jul. 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm
I also wrote another story called the beast and i only ahevtwo comments. please if u can check the beast out. Thanks! :D
ElleNicole said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 2:14 pm

This is really really good! =)

I only write poems usually, but would you be willing to check my poem out?

writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 10:02 am
yeah! sure! just tell me the name of ur poems! :D
HaleyStar said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 10:42 am
I L-O-V-E it! (:
writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 10:48 am

Thanks! Have u wrote any stories? I would like to check them out?


HaleyStar replied...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 10:54 am
Glimpse is a book that is now on my page, and I had a short story called Runaway on there too.
writerfreak21231 replied...
Jul. 15, 2011 at 10:04 am
Thanks! I'll check them out! :D
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