June 25, 2011

The man stealthily lurked through the darkness waiting for someone to catch him. Nobody came out of the lurking darkness that stood behind him. He turned back quickly one more time and then turned back to what he was doing.

He walked over to a tall sharp fence and climbed over it snagging part of his black coat going over, ripping it.

He grumbled once he got over lifting up the ripped side.

“I’ll fix it later!” he mumbled gruffly as he started walking toward a huge looming building.

“He’s coming! hurry! In your positions!” said a big armed guard looking from a tall look out tower.

Down below was a dark figure of a man walking towards the guard tower.

The man looked up at all the armed guards and froze.

“Crap!” he said under his breath looking down from the light that was casted on him.

“Well, well, long time no see ah?” said a man in a red uniform with so many medals on the suit you could definitely tell that he was in charge.

“You, have been causing trouble, all around the country side. Stealing, and causing a ruckus among the people of the towns.” the red suited man continued, staring straight in the masked mans black eyes.

He then looked down at the coat. “It seems like you have been causing even more of a ruckus as well. Where do you think your going?” asked the red suit man fingering the tared fabric of the coat.

The man in the mask didn’t answer.

“Hmmm, you want to be difficult ah?” asked the man taking out a silver pistol.

“Well then, I will too.” the red suit man holding the pistol over the masked mans heart.

“It seems like you have earned yourself a new name through theses past weeks. People now call you NightStalker.” the red suit man continued slyly.

“Did you, know about this?” asked the red suit man.

The masked man gripped the gun in his left hand hard.

It appeared that the suited man noticed because then he said: “Ah, it seems you don’t like this name? You don’t, do you?” asked the suited man peering at the masked man closely.

Then speaking for the first time, the masked man spoke in a deep rich voice, “Why, why would I like this name? It is a name of a monster. Not a human being.”

“Well, you’re not, How do I put it nicely, not a human being. I mean come on, the way you climb so gracefully, the way you can get around an enemy so quietly, or how you can shoot twenty men with only one bullet.” the suited man said holding one finger and continuing. “This, is not normal.” the suited man shook his finger at him.

“How, how do you do it?” the suited man asked him.

The masked man responded, “Practice.” he said simply.

“How could you say that? just practice? I don’t think so! So tell me, how is this possible? Are you an alien? Did you fall in some toxic waste? What?!” demanded the red suited man.

“Toxic waste? Do you really think I'm some super hero?” asked the masked man in disbelief.

“Well then how is the things you do possible?” he asked.

“I have my ways” said the dressed in black masked man said mysteriously.

The red suited man started to pace around in circle still keeping the gun poised at the masked mans heart.

“Well,since it seems like you won’t give give me answers, I guess I will have to shoot the answer out of you!” the red suited man said.

He then pointed the gun at the masked man and locked the gun aiming at his chest.

“Tell me, or I will shoot you” demanded the suited man.

“No” the masked man said firmly.

“Well then, I’m sorry to say that you will be in a hospital bed for quiet some time” said the red suited man ready to pull back the trigger.

Then the man in the mask kicked the gun out of his hand knocking it all the way to a flimsy willow tree to the left.

The masked man took out his black shiny gun gracefully and pointed it at the suited mans heart.

“Well now, we don’t have to be harsh on this matter, put the gun down” the suited man motioned to put the gun on the grassy floor.

“says the man who was about ready to shoot me!” laughed the masked man not putting the gun down but putting the gun closer to the mans heart.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to shoot you” the masked man said, the suited man sighing with relief. “I’m just going to give you a little reminder that you can’t beat me that easily!” and with that the masked man shot his foot.

Join the Discussion

This article has 84 comments. Post your own now!

storm lily said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 2:52 pm
this is a great concept but the sentences didn't flow very well and some grammar was off
writerfreak21231 replied...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm
thanks for the feedback and thanks for reading!!! :)(:
writerfreak21231 replied...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 2:41 pm
i owould love to read some of your work, but it wont let me get to your page! :)(:
DaylightDarkness said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Good concept, it sounds an awful lopt like some marvel stuff, but thats actually a good thing. ^^ My one suggestion would be to fill it out a little more and add detail. I tend to think that action needs to be balanced in any story, if everything happens too fast, or too much, the reader gets jaded.
writerfreak21231 replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 9:16 pm
thank you for the feedback and thanks for reading! Oh and I LOVED your poems!!!! Great job!!!! Keep writing more!!!! :)(:
youngpilot said...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Mind if i edit the entire doc? There's a bit of formatting and grammar that is killing me? :) Don't feel bad, i have soooo many mistakes in my writing.
youngpilot replied...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 9:16 pm

rrrrr. i went through and edited, but for some reason teenink is being stupid and not posting. I am just going to try and post edits on the forum page:)


writerfreak21231 replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 8:22 am
ok! thank you sooo much!!!! :)(:
youngpilot replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 8:36 am
Hey, it's not posting either place, do you have an email that i could just send it to? Its totally fine if you feel uncomfortable with that...but that would be the easiest way for me to send:) I am planning on editing the rest of what you have today and wouldn't mind just sending the entire thing in an emial.:)
writerfreak21231 replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 9:17 pm
im sorry cant do that. but if you want you can just tell me the corrections! But i appreicate that you did this for me! thank you soooo much again! :)(:
youngpilot replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 9:24 pm
i complerely understand...only problem is, the entire thing is like, 16 pages long (i went through and edited everything in one doc) and obviously isn't going to post on teenink...hmmm...i will try posting it on the thread in parts, but idk if it will work...and if it doesn't then I am out of ideas...
writerfreak21231 replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 9:28 pm
well im so thankful for you doing this anyway! Thanks you thank you thank you!!!! And loved the story you wrote! It was so emtional!  thought I was going to cry!!! Great job!!!! :)(:
youngpilot replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 9:34 pm
oh, you are totally welcome. Just wish that communication on this site was better. I will try and post the things tomorrow, but can make garentees... Thanks for the feedbakck on the story, jsut wish the other one would post:)
writerfreak21231 replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 8:23 am
yeah! thanks again! great job! :)(:
MuSiC809 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Ok so i only read the prologue so far, but im definitly gonna read the rest! Couple errors but hey, we'r only human(: lol. read my stuff thnx! (:
jellotinisjiggly24 replied...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 4:18 pm
thanks you sooooooooo much! and i lovved ur story!!! keep writing!!!! :)(:
writerfreak21231 said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 1:02 pm
chapter three, four, and five are know posted! :)(:
mercebeinyata replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 9:18 pm

This article was a bit disorganized, and I am getting so confused because the names of two of the characters are so similar. Maybe you could kind of, sort of give us some names here? It's all up to're "the man in the red coat".

Also could you please check out my new story called "Purple-face Tom," it's my 1st fiction article on this site.

writerfreak21231 replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 8:11 am
yeah sure! thanks for the feedback!!! :)(:
writerfreak21231 replied...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Wow its been i long time. Sorry about that, but I can't find your story. Do you have any suggestions on how to get there? :)(:
jellotinisjiggly24 said...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm
actually now it is: jellotinisjiggly24
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