Scars of the Tiger

June 20, 2011
He sat bolt upright, instinctively reaching for his throat. Gasping he looked around the room trying to push away the nightmare’s haunting images that kept replaying before his eyes. The night’s air cooled the sweat that oozed from his skin’s pores, as he pushed down the fear balled up in his throat and stomach. His blazing blues eyes grew wide as he rubbed his neck and found it missing. The animal tendon that he used as a string to hold the fang of the dead mountain lion that had raised him was gone.
Immediately he stood, fear flashing in his eyes as he scoured the dark room. Moonlight caught on something and flickered. Looking closer he thought was Misty’s calm motherly green cat eyes. Then they morphed into angry, evil, starving, unforgiving amber eyes; the wall in front of him flashed orange and black stripes, and then flicked to the sharp deadly claws and teeth of the tiger that tried to kill him a few years ago. Shaking, he fell back on his butt, his hand landing on Misty’s tooth. Sighing a shaky relief he tied it around his neck and walked over to the bathroom, dust particles mockingly dancing in the moon’s silver glow.
Turning on the light and slightly closing the door, he pulled off his shirt and turned his back to the mirror. Looking over his shoulder he used the mirror to trace the scars. Ignoring the other little faint scars, he studied the four long jagged white scars that ran down his tan muscular back. Wincing at remembered pain, he sighed and put his shirt back on. That tiger had been haunting his dreams at least once a week for years.
Tuning on the faucet he stuck his head under the icy cold water. He gave a shaky breath still trying to shake off the flash backs. Slowly he added warmth to the water till it was soothingly hot. Smiling to himself he remembered how Misty would lick the back of his hair the wrong way after he had had a nightmare to sooth him. Though a cat, she had been a better mother than his real mom or any of his foster care moms.
“Jack?” a voice asked from the doorway. Jack stood, hitting his head on the sink on the way up. He stood there, his black hair soaked and dripping, looking at the voice’s owner: a sleepy Taylor who looked like thunder had awaken him even though there was no storm. “You ok?” The scrawny blonde haired brown eyed boy asked.
“Ya. I’m fine.” Jack replied thinking about how Taylor had escaped his kidnappers and now with Jack’s help was heading home.
“But, what about those scars?” He persisted
“Um … they’re nothing and I really don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“I’m going to find out sooner or later and you know it.” The 15 year-old said growing in confidence against 18 year-old Jack.
“Well I’d rather you find out later than sooner,” Jack growled throwing in a bit of a snarl so he would stop arguing. “Now get your butt back to bed.”
Taylor left and got into his bed. Jack shook his wet head and turned off the water. He knew the kid was right. At some point they were going to run into one of the few people who knew. Then the beans would be spilled. Crawling into his sleeping bag on the floor he was tempted to just leave, to just run from the past that this adventure was putting on the path ahead of them. I have a job to do and I can’t leave Taylor to fend for himself, Jack thought as he drifted off to sleep. He wouldn’t stand a chance against the vicious killers from my past that are after him, he’d be torn apart like a rabbit in a pack of dogs.

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This article has 49 comments. Post your own now!

MidnightFire said...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 8:47 pm
OVER 400 VEIWS!!!!
MidnightFire said...
Oct. 13, 2011 at 4:01 pm
OVER 300 VEIWS!!!!!!!!!! :D
questiongy replied...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 6:51 pm
how can u tell how much views?
stop replied...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 6:52 pm
i wont u 2 stop p.s i go to your school
MidnightFire replied...
Dec. 24, 2011 at 12:59 pm
It shows me on the my work area ... can't I show pride in my work? you don't have to keep looking in if you don't want to, I mean really, anymore clues to who are you?
LaceeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 1, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Kinda Confusing I Had to Read It a Couple Times But, Other Than That Your Writing Style Was Great:) And I Like The Mystery To It Also:)
MidnightFire replied...
Oct. 2, 2011 at 11:19 am
Thanks :) I can see how it can be confusing. I'm glad you liked it, some people don't like the mystery as much, so I'm glad someone does :)
ChristySparrow replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 7:51 pm
It was wonderful. I don't have anything to say. gtg Sorry, I would give better criticism but..:).
andromeda13 said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 1:39 pm
i loved it, so much mystery it was very creative! :)
MidnightFire replied...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Thanks :) glad you liked it
MidnightFire said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Over 250 veiws!!! :D
stop saying that replied...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 6:52 pm
we dont need to know!!!
Midnight_Hum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 16, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Well, I guess I had better come out and say it, I didn't really like this story (I always try to tell people what I think right off so that they know what to expect). The concept was fine, for the most part (I picked up hints of Steve Irwin or Siegfried and Roy), however as a whole the story was confusing and rushed.
The first thing I notice was the sentence, "…His blazing blues eyes grew wide as he rubbed his neck and found it missing."
This sentence is confu... (more »)
MidnightFire replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Yes the issue with the 'missing neck' has been brought to my attention before.  This is the first copy and since it’s been posted I have been informed on things to revise upon.  Also the over description has been brought up before too; I usually put in a lot of descriptions and I've found some people like it some people don't. I see how butt wasn't proper so I'll make sure to switch that out in the revised version.  When I wrote this, since it is from a book I'm wr... (more »)
MidnightFire said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 3:58 pm
OVER 200 VEIWS!!!!!!!!
renthead96 said...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Before I say anything, let me say I really like your writing style, as well as this story. It was unique and interesting, and I really enjoyed it.

Okay, now I have to admit I was slightly confused. I'm not certain I can tell where exactly Jack is while this scene is taking place. And I also noticed that there seems to be a lot of commas missing where there should be some. Specifically when you are describing something, such as a character's appearance or something similar. Anything wit... (more »)

MidnightFire replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 10:27 pm
Thanks. I didn't put the place in because it is told in the book that this is taking place in, but I'll make sure to do that from now on to help with any confusion.  Also I've always had trouble with comma's since non of my teachers ever explained to me how to use them properly.  At least they didn't tell me in a way I could under stand. Thanks again for reading
CheshireKat_95 said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 12:40 am

First of all, I like your story quite a lot!

Now for details. First paragraph, sentence 4: "His blazing blue eyes grew wide as he rubbed his neck and found it missing." His neck was missing? Oh, really, now? Haha. Careful with that. Make it very clear that the thing that is missing is the necklace, not his neck.

Also, I noticed that you mentioned to someone else that the beginning stuff is old. Did you edit and revise? Those are the two most important steps of the writing ... (more »)

MidnightFire replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 9:51 am
With the missing necklace I was woundering if that mastake would be made.  This clip was written all at once and was new when it was submitted a month ago, what I ment was 'old' was the begining of the book that this will appear in, that was written about two years ago because I can never force myself to start writting again.  That is good advice with the descriptions and I'll have to keep that in mind for when I revise this and for future writting.  For the co... (more »)
CheshireKat_95 replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 11:29 am
Anytime! :)
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